Bits and Pieces
by BelovedMaeve
Summary: A collection of prompts in thanks to some fabulous reviewers. They feature of course, the Adams Foster family.
1. Hidden Haunts and Mislaid Plans

_A/N #1 It's easy to go onto a site like this and simply consume without any sort of positive reciprocation. It lends itself to it really, as easy as commenting can be. There are however, some reviewers who have taken the time to write truly wonderful, inspiring reviews that not just renew, but also speaks to the fan in us. After all, that's why most people write "fan fiction" is it not? It gives us the chance to meditate, expand, or change something about a show/book/film we are passionate about. I want to thank those reviewers; the ones that take their time to enrich and encourage writing and it's creation. In that vein, I am and will be asking some of my reviewers for prompts they would like me to fill. It may be slow going, but I'll get to them. I'm still working on my other stories, I'm just compelled to do this as well. As this series is based on prompts, I don't know how long it will be or what kinds stories will be here. We shall see._

_A/N #2 This story is for Grace, who requested the kids in trouble and featuring Callie, Mariana, and Stef. Thank you for all your kindness!_

_A/N#3 Well, after days of trying to upload this, downloaded a new browser and voila!_

Hidden Haunts and Mislaid Plans

It wasn't like Stef and Lena weren't perfectly capable parents as individuals, they were, beating out many parents in the long run. But when they weren't together the family lacked it's perfect syncopation, like an orchestra missing a vital instrument. Both women had alternately played single mom for the past two weeks (Lena garnering an impressive 1.5 weeks) and with five children, it wasn't an easy task. A task made much more difficult by the fact that almost every one of the kids had landed in some kind of hot water (in Jude's case more lukewarm than anything), that had been dealt with by increasingly frazzled mothers. It had made tempers, even Lena's infamously even one, shorter than usual. So the fact that Mariana wanted to try her hand at ghost busting, seemed foolhardy at best, dangerous at worst, at least in Callie's opinion. She looked at her sister, "are you kidding me?"

"C'mon Callie, please?" Mariana begged, "you're the only one I trust and you're my best, most favorite sister."

Callie narrowed her eyes at the other girl, "I'm your only sister."

"That's why you're my favorite," said Mariana, batting her eyes.

Callie groaned, "don't try the same tactics you do with the boys, I can guarantee they won't work on me."

"Ple-ease," begged Mariana. "We're never going to have a chance like this again. Mama's going to be at the conference for three days and Mom won't be home until late tonight. It's like it's been…pre-ordained or something."

"What about the boys?" Callie said.

As if summoned, Brandon shuffled into the living room, still wearing his pajamas and looking like death.

"What are you doing here?" said Mariana with a smirk, "I thought you were still banned to your bedroom."

"I can come downstairs now," Brandon's voice was hoarse, "Mama said." There was a slight sneer to his last words as he flopped on the couch and moved one hand wearily to the controller.

Callie covered a laugh. The first misstep of the "missing Moms week" had been Brandon. He and Lena had had an argument on whether or not he could play in an open-air concert up in the mountains. He thought he should be allowed - she disagreed. The fact that they were fighting was rare enough but Brandon surprised them all by simply sneaking out after leaving an unapologetic message on Lena's phone. That would have been sufficiently serious, but then Brandon managed to get pneumonia after already suffering through the flu, which had been one of the many reasons he had been told he wasn't going to the concert, something Lena reminded him more than once over the subsequent week. Lena had brought him home from the doctor's office, lips so compressed they practically disappeared and on seeing her face, the rest of them had fled without delay. Even with the door closed, her low, angry voice could be heard throughout the entire second story. Brandon had been utterly cowed by her anger and hadn't even tried to move from his bedroom except for visits to the bathroom. Callie was trying not to laugh in his face, she knew he felt pretty bad, but the childish pout he sported nearly sent her over the edge.

Mariana had no such compunction, "it's your fault for being stupid."

Brandon mumbled something under his breath and pulled a blanket up to his chin as he turned on the television.

Mariana grabbed Callie's hand and pulled her away from the couch. "The boys will be fine. Mom left money for pizza and we'll leave a note that we're studying, just in case. Jesús won't even notice we're gone and we'll just tell Jude and Brandon we're studying too. Please Callie, please?" she begged.

Callie sighed, "what did you have in mind?"

"Yay!" Mariana clapped her hands in glee, grinning widely.

"I didn't say yes," Callie warned her.

Mariana ignored her, she knew she'd got what she wanted. She licked her lips nervously, "okay, so there's this abandoned asylum about an hour away…"

Callie threw her head back and groaned, "are you kidding me?"  
>"No, it's supposed to be really cool…scary."<p>

Callie gave her a suspicious look, "you don't like to be scared," she reminded her. "Why do you want to do this anyway?"

Caught, Mariana bit her lip and looked at the carpet, "well," she began, "Mat was saying he really wanted to see it and I thought maybe it could be fun…" she trailed off, watching Callie's expression carefully.

"That sounds like a terrible, terrible idea," Callie informed her.

"Callie," groaned Mariana, "like half the kids at school have done it, it's no big deal."

"You're really giving me the argument that all the kids at school are doing it?" Callie raised an eyebrow, "I'm not Moms."

"I said half the kids at school," Mariana argued weakly as she twirled the edge of her hair with one finger, "and Mat really wants to do it."

Callie glanced over at the couch where Brandon continued to passively flip channels. "Isn't he in trouble or something? For sneaking up to the mountains?"

"No," Mariana said impatiently, "_his _parents thought he was on a school band trip." She switched tactics, "Callie, aren't you tired of always trying to do the right thing? I mean, you know, besides kissing Brandon and running away."

"Low blow," said Callie, glaring at the smaller teen, "and yes. Kind of. I just don't want to cause Moms anymore trouble, you know?"

Mariana's grabbed Callie's hands, her eyes growing serious, "Moms aren't going to get rid of you just because you make a mistake or do something wrong."

"I know that," said Callie, shifting away nervously, her eyes flitting around the room in a desperate attempt not to look her sister in the eye.

Mariana tugged at her hands again, "they won't," she said firmly. "I was so afraid of that, when I got Mom shot-"

"You didn't-"

"Not totally, but if I hadn't gone to meet Ana in secret, it wouldn't have happened, right?" Mariana bit her lip, her eyes brimming with tears at the memory.

Now Callie tugged Mariana close to her to give her a quick, left-armed hug, "We don't know what all would have happened," she declared. "There's too many what-ifs. It's not your fault."

Mariana gave her a grateful glance, "anyway, I just-I was afraid, okay. It was like, the worst thing I ever did and Moms hardly even yelled at me. They might get mad at us, but they'll never get rid of us."

Callie blew out a breath, "I know-I just-"

"It'll be fun. We can take some of the camping stuff and make S'mores while we're there. You might even find some cool things to take pictures of," she said, adding a tempting cherry to the insubordination sundae.

"Fine," Callie finally caved. It was that or have this conversation for the rest of the night. And it did kind of sound like fun. Unlike Mariana, she kind of liked scary things…well, scary things that weren't real. It wasn't like she believed in ghosts or haunted houses. It would just be an empty building. What could go wrong?

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

It was time, Callie believed, to start considering bad omens being an actual thing. Mat's car had run out of gas about halfway through their journey. When Mat, in utter indignation, pointed to the halfway mark on the gas gauge as proof, then slapped his hand on the dashboard, the malfunctioning gas gauge needle dipped slowly all the way to the "e". With a muffled curse, Mat leaned back in his seat.

"What do we do now?" asked Callie from the backseat.

"There was a gas station a couple miles back. I can go get it while you guys stay here," he said, kneading the steering well in frustration.

"Are you kidding?" yelped Mariana, "that's like, how every horror movie begins...ever. No way." She grabbed onto Mat's sleeve as if to prevent him from leaving the vehicle.

"We could all go," offered Callie, scooting closer to the front seat so she could talk to them.

Mat looked through the windshield. The area was isolated with only trees and wildlife as any real company. "I'm not sure I feel comfortable just leaving my car here," he said.

"Who's going to steal your car?" scoffed Mariana, "it's not like it's new or anything."

"It's a Toyota FJ40 Land Cruiser," said Mat, looking offended.

Mariana looked at him blankly.

"There's like, not a bunch of them," he said. "They were pretty hard core back in the day."

Mariana continued to stare at him.

He turned to Callie for support. She shrugged at him, "I don't know a lot about cars," she told him.

He huffed in irritation. "Well, it's not worthless, I'll tell you that," he informed them.

"Okay, okay," said Mariana. "But seriously, it's not really safe for you to be travelling by yourself either."

"I-" he began.

They all yelped when they heard a light tapping on the back window. "Hey there, you all okay in there?" said a voice.

The teenagers glanced at one another, "yes," ventured Callie after a moment. "Kind of."

"Well, you need some help?" the voice asked again.

Mariana grabbed Mat's arm, "he could be a serial killer or a guy with a hook for a hand," she said. "Let's just call Triple A or something."

"I don't want Triple A for gas," muttered Mat, "they'll think I'm stupid." He pulled his sleeve away from her as he opened the door.

"Mat-don't," she said, then looked at her sister, "Callie, what if he gets hurt!" Her eyes begged the other girl to do something.

Sighing, Callie opened the door and Mariana did the same. They squinted into the headlights behind them.

"What's the problem here kids?" A tall man stepped in front of the lights, blocking it a little so it wouldn't blind them anymore. From his silhouette they could see longish hair and a beard.

"I ran out of gas," said Mat, sounding slightly embarrassed, "my gas gauge must have a busted fuse or something."

"There's a gas station just a little ways back," the man offered shuffling forward slowly and holding out his hands to show he wasn't a threat, "I can take you. Be there in just a few minutes."

The teenagers looked at one another nervously as the man shuffled a little closer. "Um, that's nice of you," said Callie, keeping her arms relaxed as the rest of her body tensed, "but we were always told not to take rides from strangers. Plus, our Mom's a cop and we know a lot more about Stranger Danger than most."

The man chuckled, "that's a good rule, sweetheart. But I tell you what, I have a couple of girls at home and I wouldn't feel right about leaving you all here in a bind."

Mariana and Callie looked at one another. He certainly _sounded_ sincere but both Stef and Lena had long drilled them in safety procedures, especially Stef who had no qualms about telling them tales of what happened to teenagers who didn't.

When the man took a couple of steps nearer, his car headlights fell onto his face at an angle. Mariana gave an undignified yelp as Mat stepped back and Callie drew in a breath of surprise.

"I know, I know," he assured them, "I'm not going to be winning any beauty prizes anytime soon."

_Anytime ever_ thought Mariana privately. The man had a jagged scar that seemed to start somewhere near his temple and end mid-cheek. That wouldn't have been so bad, it was faded and obviously old, but the skin was also puckered and rippled on the left side of his face, giving it a pinched and disfigured look. "Uh, it's fine," she said nervously.

"Uh-huh," agreed Callie, her voice pitched slightly higher than usual.

"Hardly even notice," said Mat weakly.

The man shook his head, "it's ugly, there's no denying, but it's a part of me. Can't help that. I know I may look like a James Bond villain but I'm not and I really don't feel comfortable leaving you youngsters out here by yourselves. You can keep your phones out and ready to call 911, grab a bat, whatever you need to do to feel comfortable but please - let me help you."

The teenagers looked at one another again. Finally, Callie nodded "okay. I mean, thanks. That's really nice of you."

The man stepped forward until he was within grabbing distance, then held out a hand to her, "I'm Greg Masters," he introduced, shaking their hands one at a time.

"Callie."

"Mat."

"I'm Mariana," she said, trying to give him a nice smile in apology for her earlier reaction.

"Alright then. If we jump into my truck, we can get to the gas station and back in probably ten minutes. Your car will be fine, don't you think son?" he directed at Mat, gesturing to his own vehicle.

"You really think so?" Mat asked, looking worriedly at his car.

"I do. Let's get going and you guys can get to where you're going." The kids piled into the front seat, Mariana practically sitting on Callie and Mat's laps. Callie took the man at his word and pulled her phone out, dialed 9-1-1, and let her hand hover over the send button. "Where are you going anyway?" Greg inquired mildly, putting the car in drive and starting down the ramshackle road.

"The store."

"To visit my cousin."

"Stargazing."

These excuses managed to come out simultaneously. They looked at one another in consternation before looking over at Greg. He chuckled, "don't want to tell me, eh? I understand, nosy adults, right?" He smiled but then his voice took on a slightly sterner tone, "not planning on getting into any trouble, are you?"

"No sir," Mariana lied immediately. Callie and Mat shook their heads quickly.

"Uh-huh," Greg was not convinced. "I hope you all aren't going up to the old Hollydale Asylum."

"Never heard of it," said Callie smoothly, not looking at her compatriots. "Why would we want to go there?"

"You wouldn't," Greg said firmly. "It's gotten to be a local dare of sorts, for the last 25 years or so. Kids mucking around in the building, causing trouble, looking for ghosts or whatever."

"Ghosts?" Mariana said, trying to invoke the highest amount of skepticism in her voice as possible. "Who believes in that?"

"Well, I don't," Greg said as they pulled into the gas station. He put the car in park and turned to face them, "but I do believe in bad luck. That's where this happened," he pointed to his face, then turned back and opened the car door, leaving the three teens in thunderous silence.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"He was totally lying, Mariana," repeated Mat, as they drew closer to the asylum. "He was just trying to scare us."

"I know, I know," she said, biting her lip as she looked out the window. She turned to look at Callie, "but what if he wasn't?"

Callie groaned from the back seat, "look, you guys were the ones who really wanted to do this. I'm happy to go back home."

"No way," said Mat, "we've already come all this way. Lou said it was really cool and I want to see it."

"Fine," sighed Mariana as Callie waved her hands to show them she was done with the conversation. She looked back outside. The asylum was now within sight. It loomed, dark and foreboding, but at the very top, peeking from a window, she could swear she saw the faintest flickering of a light.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Wow," said Callie as they stepped out of the car, "this place is huge."

"Yeah," said Mat, also exiting the car, "Lou said that it takes up like, three city blocks."

"So where do we start?" questioned Callie as Mariana pulled her arms around herself, a sudden breeze making her feel cold.

"I want to go to the place they did electro-shock therapy," said Mat eagerly, "if there's ghosts or weird stuff happening around here, I bet that's where it will be." He shouldered a backpack that he had filled with supplies and settled it onto his back.

"Fine," said Callie. She also had a backpack and carried a large flashlight in her hands. She looked over at Mariana. Her sister was dressed appropriately for a haunted house, jeans and a warm sweater, chunky boots that were cute but solid, and her hair was tied up in two pigtails. Her supplies however…"Mariana," said Callie, "what did you bring?"

Mariana held up a pink, Barbie sized backpack, "a flashlight…some water."

"For who, an Oompa Loompa?" asked Callie.

Mariana put her arm down in a huff, "I don't need an entire weekend's worth of supplies, Callie," she nodded towards Callie's serviceable green backpack that was practically bulging.

"You'll thank me later," promised Callie, "where's your flashlight?"

Mariana held up a light pink penlight, "here."

This time Callie actually groaned, "are you kidding me?" Smirking, Mariana pointed the flashlight at her sister's face and turned it on. A powerful beam instantly blinded Callie, "hey!" she yelled as she belatedly covered her eyes.

"Told you," said Mariana sweetly as she snapped off the flashlight.

Callie scowled at her, "you could have told me, instead of blinding me." She blinked several times. She could still see flashes of light behind her eyelids.

"You were annoying me," Mariana informed her, "stop acting like an overprotective big sister."

"I am an overprotective big sister," grumbled Callie, reaching over to tug one of Mariana's pigtails lightly.

Mat broke into the sisterly bonding, practically bouncing on the tips of his toes, "c'mon, c'mon, let's get going. We said we could only stay a couple of hours so we can get home before our folks find out. The gas thing already delayed us, let's not waste anymore time."

"Geez, alright. Let's get going then," but Mariana gave Callie a little smile before they squeezed through the fence.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Callie hated to say it…but she was kind of having fun. She hadn't really expected too, she just went along to support Mariana. The building was creepy in all the right ways. There were various creaks and even shuffling noises as small creatures fled their presence. However, as they travelled further into the asylum, Callie's initial enthusiasm began to fade. There was a weird vibe that caused trickles of apprehension to dance down her spine. However she was a tough girl, she could handle that. She didn't feel any real fear until Mariana disappeared.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Mariana decided this was the worst, worst idea she had ever had. But wait – it hadn't been her idea, it had been Mat's. This was all Mat's fault. Mentally she began planning the multiple ways she was going to make him make it up to her. Her plans were derailed as she looked at a device that could only be described as medieval. This was a horrible place. All she could do was keep imagining all the poor people that had been locked in this hospital; away from their families, away from anyone who really cared about them. There was another thing too - she kept seeing flickers of light in places that should be bathed in darkness. When she had told Mat, he had looked around in excitement until he couldn't find anything. Then he told her she was imagining things. When she told Callie, she _seemed_ to believe her, but she didn't see anything either. Instead, she grabbed Mariana's hand and gave it a squeeze, "you don't have to be nervous," she told her, "we're fine."

Mariana pulled her hand away, offended, "I'm not just jumping at shadows. I _saw_ something. Just because you didn't see it doesn't make it not true." When she saw another flicker out of the corner of her eye, she moved slowly toward it, keeping her head facing the other direction so whatever it was wouldn't get scared and disappear like the rest of them. She was nearly all the way down the hall when she realized neither Mat, nor Callie were with her. _Uh-oh._

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Mat," said Callie urgently, "where's Mariana?"

He stopped and looked around, "I don't know. When did you notice she was gone?"

"I don't know. I _just_ noticed," Callie said. "It must've only been a few seconds because we were all together when we were in the last room." She began flashing the beam of her light in wide arcs, trying to look into the darkened crannies.

"Well she couldn't have got far then," said Mat. "Mariana!" he bellowed, swinging his own light, "Mariana where are you?"

"Mariana!" chimed in Callie, turning and beginning to walk backwards,"Mariana we're r-" she yelped when cold fingers wrapped themselves around her arm.

"Where were you guys?" demanded Mariana, stepping into the room "why did you wander off?" she put one hand on her hip as she glared at them.

"We weren't the ones that left," Mat informed her.

Callie rubbed her hands briskly across her arms to dispel the goose bumps, "where were you? I was worried sick."

"We already have two moms," Mariana informed her pertly, "we don't need another one."

"Mariana," said Callie warningly, "don't do that again. There could be holes in the floor, or cobwebs or…" she paused at the aggrieved look Mariana was giving her, "giant rats the size of Labradors."

"I-" Mariana began, then gave a double take, "wait, what did you say about rats?"

Callie raised an eyebrow significantly and Mariana looked slightly quelled. She stepped a little closer to Callie.

"C'mon you guys, we only have thirty more minutes," said Mat, ignoring their banter with the ease of practice, "let's get to the electro-shock room and take some pictures."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Stef sighed in relief as she dumped her keys in the bowl and opened the refrigerator to look for some food. The kitchen smelled like pizza but with five teenagers in the house, three of them boys, she knew it was highly unlikely that there were any leftovers. She had accepted this, but when she opened a drawer, she found that the string cheese had been eaten as well. Her eyes narrowed, "little monsters," she mumbled under her breath. "They're like cockroaches – eat everything in sight and leave only crumbs." She sighed as she checked another drawer, "or not even crumbs." She closed the refrigerator door to find the grocery list glaring at her in condemnation. Oh right, she was supposed to go shopping the other day. She sighed, _how long was it until Lena came back_? She checked her watch, two days, three hours, and nineteen minutes. Swell. She went to a cupboard, pulled down a jar of peanut butter and grabbed the heel of the bread that had been sitting in solitary splendor for the last couple of days. She smeared peanut butter on it and had taken her first bite when she heard feet tromping down the stairs.

"Hey Mom," said Jude with a grin, "You're home early." He went to the refrigerator, grabbed the carton of milk, and dumped what was left in a glass. He put the empty carton on the table in mute disapprobation. "We're out of milk," he informed her.

"Thanks kiddo, I didn't notice," she said dryly.

"Weren't you supposed to go to the store yesterday?" he asked, an impish grin on his face.

"Why yes I was Jude. Weren't you supposed to take the recycling out yesterday?" she raised her eyebrow at him.

He grinned sheepishly, "oops?"

"Yeah, oops. Stop bugging your poor old Mom and give me a hug or something."

Jude willingly trudged over to her and gave her a quick squeeze. She planted a kiss on his cheek, chuckling a little at his grimace.

"You made that extra wet," he said, wiping his cheek and wrinkling his nose at her.

"Yes I did," Stef said, taking another bite of her sandwich, "payback," she mumbled through a mouthful of peanut butter.

Jude began gathering up the recycling, "yeah, yeah."

"Where are your siblings?" Stef asked after swallowing her sandwich bite.

"Brandon's on the couch," Jude said with a smug grin. "Jesús is…out with some girl, I don't know who."

"I swear that boy's in heat," Stef mumbled.

"What?" asked Jude.

"Nothing," said Stef, "what about your sisters?"

Jude paused in his recycling efforts, blinking, "I think they said something about studying. They didn't eat with us. I think Brandon knows though."

"Hmm," Stef said. She took out her phone and quickly punched a message to Callie and Mariana. _Where are you babies? Remember your curfew is ten tonight!_

She waited for a few minutes when she received two replies nearly simultaneously, _studying b back soon_ said Mariana's. _Library w M_ said Callie's_ b home at 10. _"Uh-huh," said Stef. She tapped her phone quickly bringing up the Find My Phone ap that had proven so useful in the past. It was dark. Both girls' phones had "mysteriously" lost power after delivering their text messages or you know, had been _turned off_. "How convenient," said Stef dryly.

"Were you talking to me Mom?" asked Jude as he paused on his second trip to deliver the recyclables to the outside bin.

"Nope," said Stef looking at him with a small grin.

She went into the living room and looked at her oldest son, who was half dozing on the couch and watching some sort of sci-fi show. "Hey baby," she said, kissing his temple to check his temperature.

"M'fine," he mumbled, trying to move away from her.

"Yeah, you're wonderful," she shook her head. "You sound like crap," she informed him.

"You yell at me when I say crap," he observed hoarsely, his face still half hidden in the blankets.

"Yes I do," said Stef pleasantly, "and when you have children you'll get to bug them about all sorts of things too." She pulled the blanket from his face and tucked it around his neck.

"You just know Mama will give you a hard time," he said, blinking wearily at her.

"That is also true," she said agreeably. "Sit up, I need you to wake up a little and answer some questions, then I want you to get to bed."

"It's only 9:00," said Brandon.

"Thank G-d Mama and I taught you to tell time. All those hours of practicing weren't wasted after all," said Stef. Brandon rolled his eyes. "Now, where are your sisters?"

Her son looked at her blandly. "Studying or something I guess."

"It's a Friday night."

He opened his mouth to make some smartass comment about knowing the days of the week but she cut him down with a single look. "I don't know what to tell you Mom," he sighed. "As far as I know they're studying at the library or something."

Stef narrowed her eyes as she looked at him. "You know if you're lying to me I will kick your butt," she informed him.

He yawned widely, practically giving her a look at his tonsils, "I know. Can I watch TV now?"

"No, you can go to your room and get some sleep," she said, pulling him to his feet. "I want you tucked in, in thirty minutes."

"Not a baby," he mumbled but very quietly.

"You're my baby," she said predictably, "and you're still in trouble with me and Mama," she said, pushing him to the stairs. "Besides, you know the best way to kick this is to follow the doctor's rules, take your medicine, and get some rest."

With a weary sigh, Brandon obeyed her and trudged up the stairs.

Satisfied, Stef put her hands on her hips as she surveyed the slightly messy living room. The smile slid off her lips as she noted a bottle of Mariana's nail polish and a school notebook of Callie's. _Where were her girls_?

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Mariana decided that the asylum was built deliberately to _make_ people crazy. There was no sense to the design and they had gotten lost more times then she could count. She looked at her phone to check the time, then remembered she had turned it off to stop her mom from finding them. She bit her lip. Mom was going to be suspicious, but at least she couldn't actually _prove_ anything, right? "Mat, what time is it?" she asked.

Mat dragged his phone out of his pocket and sighed when he looked at the brightly lit screen. "It's 9:05." His voice conveyed his disappointment.

"9:05!" Callie stopped inspecting the wall, which was inscribed with all sorts of interesting messages . She looked at Mariana urgently, "we have to go now. We still have to walk to the car and drive home. Mom's already home and she's totally going to interrogate us anyway about the phones. We don't want to make her any more upset then she's going to be."

Mariana nodded from her side of the room, "yeah, c'mon Mat, let's go now."

"Fine. But, maybe we can come here again? We never even found the electro-shock room," he begged.

"Maybe," Mariana said insincerely.

"Not a chance," said Callie when he looked at her.

They got lost a few more times but managed to find their way to the main hallway. The strange noises hadn't lessened, they may have even been a little louder. It was Callie this time who was distracted by what seemed to be intermittent, floating lights.

"I _told_ you," said Mariana when Callie pointed them out. "You thought I was crazy but I told you."

"I didn't _say_ you were crazy," Callie began, but then couldn't think of a good way to end that sentence so she just shut her mouth and continued on.

Mariana snorted inelegantly, "uh-_huh_," she said.

When they finally made it outside they were surprised to see that it had been raining. "I didn't hear rain from inside, did you?" asked Mat, shining his flashlight on the wet ground.

"No," said Mariana.

Callie shook her head.

"Alright, well, it shouldn't be too bad," said Mat, "we can just follow the path we did be-" he was abruptly silenced when his shoe sank in mud all the way to his ankle. "Dammit," he muttered.

"Ew," said Mariana, drawing back her foot before she made the same error.

"Maybe we could use a stick to see if there's any more deep parts," said Callie, scanning the area looking for a convenient branch.

"Doesn't matter," groaned Mat, "I'm already muddy. Just follow me and I'll just kind of…test the area before I step into it."

They managed to make their way to the fence but before they slid through it, Callie shined her flashlight over the car, "uh-oh."

"What?" Mat looked at his car, then swore for a second time.

"Well, that can't be good," said Mariana, looking at the car that was now missing all four tires.

Thunder rumbled and rain began to fall once again.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Are you sure your sisters didn't tell you where they were going to study?" Stef quizzed Jude.

He looked away from his video game for a moment, "just something about studying Mom, honest. That's all they said."

"Well, what were they wearing? Did it look like studying clothes?"

Jude frowned, "they were just wearing jeans and stuff. They didn't look like they were going out or anything," he grinned, "Mariana was wearing nail polish, but she always wears nail polish."

"Wait, Mariana was wearing jeans?" Stef asked, hands on her hips as she thought.

"Uh-huh."

Stef forehead furrowed, her youngest daughter _did_ wear jeans, but not often. This could be a clue, "what else were they wearing?"

"I don't really know…sweaters…they had their backpacks," he said, "it sure looked like they were studying."

Stef frowned at her youngest and decided to employ the same tactics she had used with Brandon, "you know if you're lying to me I'm going to hang you upside down by your toenails, right?"

"Uh-huh." Jude sounded about as frightened as Brandon had and Stef couldn't help but feel a little flicker of happiness. Jude's nonchalant attitude towards her threats made her realize how comfortable he had come to be within his still somewhat-new family.

"Alright then," she slapped her knees as she stood up, "you can play for another hour but then your video game time for the day is done, got it?"

"Got it," he replied without looking as her.

She ruffled his hair as she walked away, back to the kitchen. She brought out her phone, hoping she had just missed hearing the message beep or the ring. No such luck. She frowned at her weather ap. Apparently thunderstorms were heading their way.

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"Why would anyone want to steal your tires?" Mariana asked again, "they're _tires_."

"I don't know," said Mat irritably, "why does anyone do that kind of stuff? Probably just to be an ass."

"Well, we need to figure out what we're going to do," said Callie, looking at the sky, "because we're supposed to be home soon and the storm looks like it might be here awhile.

Mat fumbled for his phone, "I guess I got to call Triple A," he said, "how am I going to explain this to my parents?"

Callie shrugged and Mariana winced, "sorry," she offered.

The girls huddled close together to keep warm as Mat mumbled into the phone. When he repocketed the phone, his tone was grim. "It's going to take a couple hours for them to get here."

"Hours?" yelped Mariana, "we can't wait hours. Our Mom is going to kill us."

"Sorry," said Mat wearily. "Apparently there's a whole bunch of crap going on right now. They're busy."

Callie took out her phone, "we'll call Jesús to come get us. You can leave your information with Triple A and have them tow the car to whatever repair place you want, but we need to get out of here."

"But-"

Callie shook her head at him, already making the call. The ringing went on until the voice message system kicked in. She left a voice message while Mariana rapidly sent him a text message. Then they waited…and waited…and waited.

"Didn't he have a date tonight?" asked Callie eventually.

"I swear we need to neuter him," Mariana groaned. Mat frowned at her. "Don't give me that look," she told him flipping her hair, "he's worse than an alley cat."

Callie tapped her fingers together nervously then exhaled noisily, "I'm gonna call Brandon."

"He's sick," Mariana objected.

"I know, but he's the only one we can count on right now. At least we know he's home."

"But…but Mom's home too, she'll want to know what he's doing," Mariana said, plucking at the sleeves of her sweater.

"Well, he'll just have to be sneaky then," said Callie, finding his name and selecting it.

Mariana closed her eyes, "we are so screwed."

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Brandon waited until he heard the shower running in his Moms' room before he crept down the stairs. Mom had already given him his medicine and "tucked him in". Hopefully the sound of the humidifier and strains of quiet music, would make her think he was resting comfortably and prevent her from checking in on him again.

He held his breath against a coughing spell, determined to not make any noise that would alert her. He crossed the kitchen, grabbed the keys, and was easing the door open when he heard a whisper.

"What are you doing?" asked Jude, standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

"I'm just…nothing, go back upstairs," Brandon hissed, turning to look at him.

"Is this about Callie and Mariana?" asked Jude, taking another step towards him, "Mom was asking me all kinds of questions."

Brandon looked at the clock worriedly. He didn't have a lot of time, "yes, okay? Mat's car broke down and they're at a place they aren't supposed to be. I have to get them home before they get into anymore trouble."

"Let me go with, " said Jude, starting towards him. "I can help."

"No," said Brandon, shutting the door for a moment, "you need to stay here, keep Mom from checking up on me so I can get the girls home and sneak back upstairs, okay?"

Jude looked at him skeptically, "you really think that's going to work?"

"It's the only plan I've got right at the moment," Brandon said. "I _do_ know that if I don't leave now, I won't have another chance and Mariana and Callie will be stuck. Do you want that?"

Jude shook his head.

"Okay then, try to keep Mom away from my bedroom and distracted so she doesn't keep detectiving around for the girls."

"Fine."

Brandon slipped out the door and went to the car. He shivered, realizing he had forgotten his jacket. Oh well, he'd just blast the heat in the car. It took a moment for the car to get started. It had been having some trouble of it's own, and Brandon had a brief thought to what would happen if _his_ car broke down. He was startled out of his thoughts by a tap on his window.

"Get out of the car. Now," Stef's voice held no trace of amusement.

Gulping in nervousness, Brandon slowly turned the key and opened the door. Even in only a robe, wet hair plastered to her head, she still looked intimidating enough that he swallowed again.

"What do you think you were doing?" said Stef in a low, clear voice.

"How did you know I was out here?" asked Brandon weakly, darting a look at the ground, then the doorway where Jude was shaking his head frantically and mouthing something.

"I saw you from the window when I went to get my robe. I forgot to get it before I stepped in the shower," Stef said. "Now answer my question."

"I just needed to get something from my car," said Brandon, stalling for time.

"And you needed to start the engine because…?"

Brandon shrugged weakly.

"Where. Were. You. Going?" her tone was still measured, but he could hear the anger building behind her words.

Brandon paused helplessly, his pneumonia-fogged brain struggling to come up with an answer, "nowhere."

Stef just shook her head with an almost pitying look. Even at the best of times, her oldest son wasn't a good liar. He had no chance now.

Brandon read his fate in her eyes and winced. _Dammit_.

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Mat, Callie, and Mariana were huddled in the backseat, trying to keep warm. The temperature had dropped several degrees and their wet clothing was not conducive to warmth. "When do you think Brandon will get here?" Mariana chattered. She was huddled between the two of them and she was _still_ freezing. She hoped Mat and Callie were going to be okay.

"Soon," said Callie. "We aren't really too far from home and the traffic shouldn't be bad because it's so late. He said he was going to wait until Mom started her shower before he snuck out."

The car windows rattled suddenly and Mariana jumped, "what was that?"

"Just the wind," said Mat, putting a protective arm around her.

"Then why aren't the trees moving?" said Mariana, pointing outside.

"I-don't know," Mat sounded uncertain as he squinted into the inky blackness.

"Those lights are shining again," said Callie quietly from her other side.

All three kids looked out the windows. They couldn't see the entire asylum, but at the top of the building, near the roof, there was a brief flash of light.

"That's kind of cool," said Mat.

"It's kind of freaky," Mariana said.

"That too."

Callie let her forehead rest against the glass, "I wonder if Greg was telling the truth," she mused.

Mariana looked instantly alarmed.

"Not-not about everything," Callie assured her, "but there's something about this place…" she trailed off.

Shivering, Mariana looped her arm through Callie's, "don't say anything else," she demanded, "you're starting to freak me out."

Callie turned away from the window and gave her a small smile, "sorry. It's just…this place is weird, and I can't help thinking about the people who were here…and probably didn't want to be…"

"That's what I was thinking too," said Mariana eagerly.

"Maybe some of them wanted to be here," said Mat optimistically, "to get help or something."

"And the electro-shock therapy was…?" said Mariana leadingly.

Mat shrugged, "it helped some people, look at Carrie Fisher."

"Who's Carrie Fisher?" asked Callie.

"Princess Leia," Mariana informed her, "lots boys love her. There was this whole gold bikini thing."

"You know about the gold bikini thing?" asked Mat, looking at her in surprise.

"Hel-_lo_, I have brothers," she reminded him.

"Right."

They went back to watching the flickering lights. "You know, this makes me think of this story I heard in middle school about demonic agents attaching themselves to earthly things…" Mat trailed off at Mariana's glare, "what?"

"Are you kidding me? Seriously? Why would you try and tell us that story now?" Mariana edged away from him, closer to Callie.

"I just-sorry." he said, when both girls scowled at him. He brought out his backpack and dug through it, "look I brought something. Maybe it would relax you a little bit." He unwrapped a dark brown square covered in cellophane.

"A brownie?" said Callie suspiciously.

"It better not be the same kind on brownie you gave Brandon," Mariana informed him, "I heard Moms laughing about that for days. I'm not going to turn into some space case."

"One bite wouldn't be bad," he suggested.

"No," said Mariana firmly.

"Uh-uh," said Callie.

"You mind if I-"

"You want to get high at the haunted house?" asked Mariana. "In a place where there's strange lights flashing, a thunderstorm, and the tires of your car were stolen?"

"Well, I wouldn't feel so worried about any of it anymore," he said after a beat.

Mariana threw up her hands.

"Okay, okay," Mat said, rewrapping the brownie and putting it away, "it was just an idea."

Suddenly, the lights that had been flashing periodically from the asylum disappeared and the wind died down like someone had flipped an "off" switch.

"What's happening?" whispered Mariana.

"I don't know."

Out of the darkness a bright light blinded them and something pounded on the window near Callie's head. All three kids yelled.

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"What happened to this car?" demanded a familiar voice once the shrieks had died down and the car door had been wrenched open (Callie would swear later she had locked the door but it was a night for strange happenings).

"Mom," panted Mariana, "what are you doing here?"

"You know, I've been hearing questions like that a lot tonight. I think you're going to like my answer about as much as the last kid of mine who asked it."

"Where's your car?" asked Callie, clambering out of the backseat and followed by the other two.

"The road is pretty much mud back there," Stef jerked her thumb to indicate the direction she had come from, "I hiked about a half mile to get here." She looked water-logged, angry, but also _safe_. Mariana went over and hugged her tightly. "Oh no, don't even try that. You guys are in big trouble, do you understand me? What were you _thinking_? This place is _dangerous_ and you're breaking the law by trespassing."

"We know," said Mariana quietly, refusing to release her mom for another moment.

Stef kissed her head automatically, not denying the comfort she knew her daughter needed. "I know you know that, so why would you do it?" She looked reproachfully at Callie.

Callie had to force herself not to roll her eyes, the seriousness of the situation notwithstanding. Some things didn't change, even when your current family wasn't the one you started with. Being the oldest meant you were automatically in more trouble. "Sorry," she offered.

"It was my idea Mrs.-Officer Adams Foster," said Mat, addressing her more formally in hope it would grant them some leniency.

"I made Callie come with me," said Mariana, finally releasing her mom.

"No you didn't," sighed Callie, "I knew what I was getting into."

"Oh we'll talk about who to blame…the stupidity of all of this…punishments," Stef narrowed her eyes at her daughters, "but right now you guys are going to come with me."

"Uh, I should stay here with my car," mumbled Mat. "Triple A is supposed to get here in another hour or so."

"Not a chance," said Stef flatly. "In fact, I don't really know how you can be up here at all? Aren't you still in trouble for your little escapade last week? Brandon is." She nodded to the girls, indicating that they needed to pack up their things.

"I'm not – uh – in trouble about that. I mean, my parents aren't mad at me about that." Mat wiped his hands nervously on his jeans.

"Really?" Stef gave him a speculative gaze. She and Lena had met Mat's parents when Mat and Mariana had begun dating more seriously. They did not seem like the type of parents that would allow their seventeen-year-old to attend a concert for a weekend without any adult supervision…or sneak into a haunted asylum for that matter. "Well, I think I'll have plenty to talk about with them tonight then, won't I?"

Mat gave Mariana a pleading look before dropping his head and trailing behind them. He was dead.

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"You can't yell at me, I'm sleeping," said Brandon when Stef came into his room later that night.

She looked at him narrowly without speaking, the light from the hallway slanting into his room and creating shadows. He sighed when she didn't relent. "Are Callie and Mariana okay?"

"No thanks to you. You're just lucky I confiscated your phone and found those messages."

"You stole my phone," he reminded her, sitting up on his elbows.

"When you start paying the phone bill, it will be your phone. Right now it's my phone and you're only renting it long-term. That is, you _were_ renting it long term."

Brandon sighed, dropping his head back into his pillows, "whatever. It's not like you can do anything more anyway. This stupid pneumonia grounded me."

"Oh, I'm not going to ground you," Stef sauntered further into his bedroom and tucked the blanket under his chin.

"No?" Suspicion laced his voice. Smart.

"Nope," she turned around and headed back for the door, pausing at the threshold. "I'm just going to tell Mama I caught you outside, without a coat, all while planning a little drive up to an abandoned asylum."

Brandon's eyes widened, "wait-Mom-"

Stef closed the door and chuckled.

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Stef made her way to the girl's room. Callie's hair was still damp from her shower and the noise from the bathroom indicated Mariana was still taking hers. Stef folded her arms and looked at her daughter.

"Sorry," Callie offered again, looking at her mom nervously.

Stef bit back a smile. Now that her family was here, safe, a lot of her fear had gone, replaced with the wry humor she felt when she caught her kids doing the same kind of dumb stuff she had tried as an adolescent. She kept her voice stern, "you've said that several times now, but saying sorry doesn't change the situation young lady."

"I know," Callie bit her lip. "It was just supposed to be fun. And it wasn't really dangerous," she began backpedaling when she caught Stef's look, "I mean it wasn't as dangerous as some of the other stuff kids do."

"No, it wasn't as dangerous as…running away by yourself," Stef said calmly, going to sit beside her, "or say, running into a burning building."

Callie winced, along with some praise, that last bit had gotten her a lecture too. She looked at her coverlet, tracing the threads with her fingers, then at Stef, "I a_m_ sorry," she said. "But I took good care of Mariana. I didn't let anything happen to her."

"Callie," Stef sighed, taking Callie's chin gently between her fingers, "love. When are you going to believe us when we tell you that your safety and well-being is as important to us as the rest of our children?"

Callie began squirming, wanting to pull her chin away, "I know that," she mumbled.

Stef's fingers tightened, holding her still a moment to look deeply into her eyes, "you better," she said finally, releasing her, "because it's true. You're a piece of my heart, sweetheart. Always will be."

Callie looked down, a little embarrassed by the attention even as her emotions swelled, "I know," she promised.

"And you're in big trouble," said Stef, giving her knee a little slap.

Callie sighed, "I know that too."

"And that goes for you, Miss Thing," said Stef.

Callie looked up. Mariana was standing in the doorway, a towel wrapped around her head to dry her hair.

"I already have trouble," complained Mariana, taking the towel from her head and slinging on a chair as she moved to sit beside Stef, "Mat's grounded for like…ever."

"As well he should be," said Stef, putting an arm around her younger daughter.

"I can't believe you told them everything."

"Not everything," Stef said comfortably, "I didn't tell them he was one of the people that convinced my son to eat a brownie full of pot."

"Uh-" Mariana stammered.

"I'm keeping that one to myself, because Brandon says they haven't offered him any more but it's something I'm keeping an eye on," Stef said meaningfully. "You know, in case anyone else in the house comes down with a sudden case of paranoia."

"Right," said Mariana quickly. "Makes sense."

"Yeah," Stef snorted. "I'm just crediting you two with a little more smarts, got it?"

"Uh-huh," the girls mumbled.

"Well then, I suggest you two girls get some sleep. There's going to be a lot to do tomorrow. Mama will be home in a couple days and we're going to surprise her by having the entire place sparkling. If fact, seems to me like we have a chance to get nearly all of those chores Mama's had on her list for ages."

Both girls groaned. The infamous list. It must've been over five pages. Single-spaced.

"Great," said Callie.

"Wonderful," said Mariana in the same tone.

"Good night girls," said Stef, kissing them on their foreheads. She grinned as she shut the door. And if the list contained about two pages of things she had promised to do for her wife due to her "extended absence"? Well, no one need be the wiser. She refrained from whistling down the hallway. After all, that might sound smug.


	2. Small Talk

_This one is for Theypreferthetermpeople who requested little Brandon and Lena and Stef and Brandon. It ended up mostly being Brandon/Lena but Stef is completely there in spirit. You'll see how. _

_This could almost fit into my Winding Road timeline, but not quite so this is probably the best place for it anyway. It takes place when Lena and Stef are still dating. Oh, and there's Lena and Steff stuff too because…they're awesome._

_Thank you so much for the reviews, like the muse, they nourish us._

The music floated through Lena's office and she tried to finish up some paperwork. _Some_ paperwork, hah! Endless mountains of paperwork. If people really cared about the paperwork, they'd find a way to stop giving so much paperwork to its educational systems. Lena sighed, briefly lost in this happy, yet ultimately completely unrealistic fantasy. A soft knock at the door shook her out of her daydream, "come in."

A small, but completely familiar brown head poked itself through the doorway, "hi Lena."

"Hi Brandon, "said Lena, "aren't you supposed to be in aftercare right now?"

"I am, I just told Jason I had to go to the bathroom."

"Brandon," said Lena firmly.

"I did," Brandon added hurriedly, "I promise. I just wanted to see you for a minute."

"Well," said Lena, getting up from her desk and walking towards him, "you have seen me and now it's time to go back to afterschool care. I love seeing you Brandon, you know I do, but you can't just wander off." She took his hand and began leading him back to the cafeteria.

"I didn't wander though," Brandon pleaded as they walked, "I just detoured."

Lena stopped and looked at him, purposely not kneeling to his level to keep a more authoritative stance, "you are not allowed to be roaming the halls when people don't know where you are. That is not okay. Do you understand me?"

Brandon looked at her, sensing how deep her displeasure ran. "I'm sorry I left aftercare," he told her. "I'll say sorry to Jason too. I promise. I just had something really, really important to ask you and I didn't want to do it in front of anyone else."

Lena felt herself softening which wasn't surprising. He had the same pleading look as his mother did. "What was so important that you wanted to ask me, Brandon?"

"Well, um, you and Mommy have been going on a lot of dates," he began circuitously.

"Yes," said Lena, trying not to look impatient. She had so much work to do today and she really didn't want to be at the school half the night.

Stubbing his foot on the cement he gave her a shy look, "so I was just kinda wondering if you and me could too."

"Go on a date?" Lena blinked at him in surprise.

"Yeah, like a lunch date, not a play date. Mommy hates that. She says there's really no such thing as a play date, it's just playing and she doesn't understand why something that's supposed to be as natural to children as breathing is set up in such an ar-ti-fi-cial way," he said the last part carefully, unsure of his pronunciation.

"Well, that sounds like something your mommy would say," Lena said. She kind of enjoyed when Stef went off onto one of her diatribes.

"So can we Lena? Can we go on a lunch date?"

"Bub, if it's about spending time with you, we already do that. Remember?"

He shook his head with a frown and she sighed, realizing the conversation was going to take longer than she hoped. She made a quick call to Jason to let him know she had Brandon, and led the boy over to a nearby bench.

"It's different," Brandon said, after she had finished these machinations, "you were taking care of me."

She was a little confused, "of course I was taking care of you, you're still just a little guy."

"On a lunch date you just talk and stuff," said Brandon. "That's what you do with Mom, right? Talk about important stuff?" He looked at her, "that's what Mom says you do, right?"

Lena felt her cheeks heat a little. Talking did take up a large part of their time together, but lately cuddling and kissing took place as well. Not to mention petting that often slid into NC-17 territory. "Yes," she said slowly, hoping she wasn't falling into a trap.

"That's what I want to do."

"We do talk."

"I want to make lunch for you, because when you go on a date you do nice things for each other," Brandon said, tracing a crack on the bench with one finger. "Then you talk about stuff and learn new stuff."

Lena was dying to know what Stef told her son about their dates. Where was he getting this? "Okay," she said. "We can do that."

"Really?" Brandon smiled, a gap in front where he'd recently lost a tooth. "We can go on a lunch date?"

"Let's just call it lunch," said Lena, knowing the political climate at this point would not afford such innocent declarations.

"Okay," said Brandon, already bouncing with glee. "When?"

"When were you thinking?" Lena asked, standing up from the bench, dusting her clothes lightly, and offering him her hand.

Trustingly, he slipped his hand right into hers, "on Friday? Is that too early? Do you have too much work to do?"

Lena double checked her internal calendar, "nope, I think we're good. You know that if there's some kind of emergency, that has to be a priority, right?"

"Yeah," said Brandon, "cause you're in charge of pretty much everything at the school." He said this with a particular note of pride in his voice.

"I have help but…yes," said Lena, tickling his side a little to hear him giggle.

They walked down the hallway for a little while in silence. "Lena," Brandon asked, trying and failing to sound casual.

"Yes?" There was some slight trepidation in her tone. Was he going to ask her what else she and Stef did on their dates?

"Do you have like, a favorite kind of sandwich?"

"I like a lot of sandwiches," said Lena, "especially the ones that are full of good vegetables."

"Hm," said Brandon, trying not to make a face, "how do you feel about peanut butter and jelly?"

"You can't go wrong with good ole' PB and J," she said, smiling despite her efforts not to.

They kept walking. "What about your favorite vegetable? What's your favorite fruit? What do you like for dessert?" The duo continued down the hall in this vein, with Brandon peppering her with questions about her food preferences, then later drink preferences. He seemed a tad disappointed when she didn't care for either orange _or_ grape soda.

By the time they got to the cafeteria, Lena felt like she had been interrogated by a teeny, tiny FBI agent in jeans and a Star Wars t-shirt.

Jason appeared at the door to the cafeteria, "thanks for rounding him up," the twenty-two year old said sincerely, "I didn't mean to let him be gone so long." He frowned at the little boy, "what happened to going to the bathroom?"

"I went," said Brandon innocently.

Lena cleared her throat significantly.

"I'm sorry," Brandon amended, "I thought I could run and ask Lena a quick question and get back."

Jason frowned, "well don't do that again."

"I won't," Brandon promised.

"Why don't you go play," the young man suggested, gesturing to the interior where children ran about in a somewhat organized frenzy.

"Okay," Brandon repeated. "Bye Lena," he gave her a fierce hug and ran of in the direction of the Legos.

"There's so many of them," said Jason weakly, looking like he expected a lecture of his own. "I'm really sorry."

"It happens," said Lena, "but sometimes the quiet ones are the ones you have to watch more closely. They're less likely to make noise; whether it's getting hurt or slipping away. It's easy to overlook them." Her voice was perfectly pleasant but there was a definite tone of warning.

"I will, said Jason nervously. He was still pretty new but it seemed clear from what others had said that Lena Adams was pleasant, driven, passionate about her job…and would cut you off at the knees if you did anything that would endanger the children. He wanted to stay on her good side.

"Great," said Lena brightly. "I'm glad we had this conversation."

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"So I hear you and my son have a date," Stef's voice sounded terribly amused over the phone.

"We're just calling it lunch," said Lena, propping the phone between her shoulder and her ear as she reached for another pillow to pile on her bed. This nightly talking ritual had become the norm for the two women.

"Not according to Brandon. He assured me he's having a date with you," Stef said. "It's pretty much all he talked about through dinner, through Junior Monopoly, through bath time, and also through story time, where he kept interrupting me to ask me about what I thought you'd like best to eat and whether or not bringing flowers would be required."

"Wow, he is excited." Lena said as she folded the blankets and began rubbing lotion into her skin.

"Very. At least we managed to decide on the menu for this auspicious event."

Lena couldn't help but laugh, remembering the series of questions the little boy had plied her with. "Did he tell you he interrogated me all the way down the hallway? I don't think he even took a breath. Was that your influence Officer Foster?"

"Maybe he's just glad not to be on the receiving end," Stef laughed. "He wasn't rude though, right?"

"No hon, your son conducted himself very well…except for sneaking off from aftercare in the first place." Oops, that had just kind of slipped out. She felt a momentary regret knowing that Stef's response would probably be-

"Wait-what did he do? He didn't mention that to me."

"He probably forgot about it in all the excitement," Lena tried.

Stef snorted, "he just has a convenient memory."

"I already scolded him, no need for you to get fierce Mama Tiger." Lena turned off the lights and sank into bed, pulling the blankets closer to her.

As if she had heard this small motion, Stef asked, "What are you wearing?"

Lena smiled, "light grey flannel pajama bottoms and a purplish kind of top with some kind of decorative stuff on the collar."

"Nice," Stef said. "Sounds comfortable."

"It is. What are you wearing?"

There was a pause. Lena could practically feel Stef's face growing red over the phone. "Um, nothing. I'm taking a bath. I probably should have thought of that before I asked you that question."

Lena felt a warm flush start through her body and settle permanently in areas down south, "oh," she said quietly.

Stef laughed awkwardly over the phone, "well on that note I'm going to say good-night."

"No, don't do that," Lena said quickly. "It's no big deal. You just caught me off guard. Um, so, how was your day?" She hoped she didn't sound like she was floundering.

"Busy. It pretty much always is but that's good. I can't watch the clock that way."

"I know what you mean," said Lena, trying desperately not to think of a naked Stef in the bathtub, "that's one of the reasons I like working with kids. They always make time disappear."

"Yeah."

The conversation trailed off again.

"I'm sorry," Stef apologized again. "It's weird that I'm talking to you from the bathtub, isn't it? I just-this is like the most privacy I get – ever, and even that's not a guarantee. I just wanted to talk to you and-"

"Stef, it's fine. Really, it is. I guess…maybe I'm a little embarrassed. The thought of you naked is…very pleasant to me."

"Really?"

Lena could hear the confidence seeping back into Stef's voice, that part of her that even though she was going through such a confusing time, allowed her to be so self-assured. It's one of the things Lena loved most about her. "Yes." Things were quiet for a moment and Lena closed her eyes, imagining Stef was with her. "I miss you," she admitted, feeling as love-struck as any teenager. She lived in the same town as this woman, why did she feel so bereft?

"I miss you too."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

On Friday, when the time for the kindergarten lunch came around, Lena made sure she saved what she was working on, sure that Brandon would be prompt. Within minutes of pressing the button and signing her name to one last form, she heard a soft knock on the door. "Come in," she called.

Brandon opened the door. "Hi Lena," he said, sounding shy.

"Hi bud." Lena was amused to see that although he was wearing jeans, a fairly standard uniform around here, he was also wearing a button-down shirt. Stef's influence or his own?

"Mommy always dresses nice for your dates," he explained, seeming to read her expression, "but she said I couldn't get too dressed up because I was going to school."

"I see," said Lena, then looked at him again. "Is that our lunch?"

Brandon was carrying a rather sizeable bag, in his five-year-old arms it looked the size of Texas. "Uh-huh," he said, "Mommy helped make it."

"Wow. Your mom it the epitome of 'go big or go home'" Lena observed. "Well, let's find a the biggest table we can, okay? I think there's some good ones outside."

"Outside?" Brandon asked, "but that's mostly where the big kids sit."

"The big kids and us," said Lena, raising an eyebrow at him to indicate the bag, smiling a little when he shook his head with a stubborn look that was all Stef's, then taking his hand to lead him out of her office at a brisk pace.

He gave a little hop and hurried to catch up. He waved to Mrs. Shen on his way.

"Enjoy your date," the older woman said sweetly.

Lena frowned at her, "lunch," she insisted.

"You keep telling yourself that dear."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxo

Lena couldn't help but take a deep breath when they got outside. Every time she got outdoors, she could feel herself relax a little. She was lucky that Anchor Beach had such a beautiful view. As always she marveled that her workplace included the smell of brine in the air.

"Can we sit – I mean, where would you like to sit today Lena?" asked Brandon, trying to contain his exuberance.

"Where would you like to sit?" she asked him.

His eyes darted to a table that sat under a tree with a pile of sand underneath, "Uh, you get to choose."

"How about that one over there?" she asked, pointing to the one he had not-so-subtly eyeing.

"Sure!" he chirped excitedly, letting go of her hand to deposit the bag on the surface of the table. He quickly clambered on the bench, kneeling so he could reach the contents of the bag to disperse them. "So what do you feel like first?" he said, taking out container, after brightly-colored containers and setting them neatly in a semi-circle around him.

"What do you have?" she said, tousling his hair as she sat down across from him.

"Well, first I have sandwich squares. I wanted to make sure I got everything you liked and Mommy said if we made sandwich squares you could have a little of everything." He took the lids off of three, square containers. In each one were four sandwich squares. "This one is peanut butter and jelly, this one is turkey, this one is cream cheese and apple, this one is roast beef, this one is-" he said, pointing to them one at a time.

"Wait a second Brandon. Where are the rest of the sandwiches?" asked Lena when she realized there was only one-fourth of each sandwich.

"At home. Mommy said we'll be eating sandwiches for dinner for the next month." He frowned, "she was joking." He paused again, "I think."

"Wow, that's a lot of variety buddy," Lena said, "and you have more food in there?"

He looked at her as if she were crazy, "of course! Sandwiches aren't a whole lunch." He shook his head at her, "food groups, remember?"

"Naturally. How silly of me," Lena said, with the appropriate gravitas.

"Now in this container we have carrot raisin salad and in this one we have cucumber salad," he said. "I also have these thermoses," he pulled out two of them, "and this one has broccoli soup and this one has split-pea soup. That's our vegetable group," he told her seriously.

"Of course," said Lena. "Um, Brandon, did you really bring something for all of the food groups?"

He beamed at her, "yes!" he said. "I told Mommy since you were a teacher this needed to be all right. No mistakes."

Lena shook her head, feeling a goofy kind of love. Not just that Brandon decided she needed to be spoiled in such a way, but that his crazy (and adorable) mom went along with it. How long had she stayed up the other night preparing all of this? "The fruit?"

That grin again, "watermelon balls, cantaloupe balls, honey dew balls…Mommy made me stop when I tried to use the fruit baller on an orange. It didn't work out too good."

"Too well," Lena corrected gently.

"Too well. I got orange eeeeverywhere, but Mommy didn't yell at me. She just said, 'that's enough fruit'."

Lena reached over to pop a watermelon ball in her mouth, chewing slowly.

"Balling the watermelon was hard at first," Brandon said, observing her, "a whole bunch of them fell all over the floor. It was like half of the bowl."

Lena stopped chewing and looked at him.

"Oh not those," Brandon assured her. "We put them in the garbage."

Lena swallowed the fruit, "thank goodness."

He looked at her expectantly, "so, what do you want to eat?"

She smiled at him, "I want to try everything."

This time his grin was so big, it nearly split his face.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoooxoxoxoxoxoxo

Near the end of their picnic, they sat quietly eating a dessert, which was also a variety. Mini-brownies, mini-snicker doodles, and tiny samples of butterscotch pudding lay before them. "That was good," said Brandon, breaking the short silence that had fallen, "did you like it Lena?"

"Very much so," she reassured him. He had been asking variations of this question throughout their picnic. "You and your mommy must have worked very hard to do all this."

"Mommy did most of it," he said honestly, brushing his crumbs fastidiously off the table.

"I'll have to find a way to thank her, " said Lena, already thinking of how she might do so.

"Oh!" Brandon's voice was distressed.

"What?"

"I forgot something," Brandon scrambled for the sack, knocking several things over in the process.

"It's okay, sweetheart," Lena said, watching him with some concern, "it's not a big deal. You just need to-"

"Found it!" Brandon said triumphantly, thrusting a slightly bent (and somewhat soiled) piece of paper at her.

"What is it?"

"It's a note from Mommy. It's private so I didn't read it," he said.

Lena unfolded the note.

_Hey sweetheart,_

_Thank you so much for doing this. You can't imagine_

_how much this means to him and how important_

_it was to him that we do everything perfectly._

_I hope you enjoy your not-a-date with my son._

_You are an amazing, wonderful woman._

_Love! _

_Stef_

Lena traced the heart with one finger. That word had not been used lightly between the two of them and it could still make her heart flutter. The first time they had spoken it aloud, the energy around them swirled then settled like a heavy, comforting blanket. It wasn't just reassurance it was the sense of… rectitude it brought them.

She looked over at the little boy, only to find him watching her with an intense expression. "Mommy put a heart on your note," he observed. "I can see it through the paper."

"Yes she did," said Lena.

"Hearts mean love," he said. "Mommy puts them on all my notes too."

"That's because your Mommy loves you very, very much," Lena said.

"She loves you too," said Brandon. He looked at her, tilting his head slightly, "do you love my mommy?"

Lena felt her breath catch. "Yes," she said quietly, before her brain could catch up and tell her this was a Bad Idea, "I do."

He smiled, "I'm glad." He rubbed his hands against his pants nervously, this time looking at her more tentatively, "you aren't going to leave, are you?"

"What do you mean?" Lena got up from her place on the bench and sat beside him.

He sighed, brow furrowing a little as he spoke, "Mommy use to have lots of friends. A lot of them were cops. They'd come to our house and barbecue and watch baseball and stuff."

"She-"

"And Parker's mom from soccer and Andrew's mom from art group use to sit with her and talk to her when we played games. Now nobody does that. Mommy's friends are all gone."

"Sweetheart, you mom does have friends. She just doesn't…see them as often."

"But friends call you and sit with you at lunch and play with you. They don't do that anymore. I don't see nobody with her. What's wrong?"

"Honey," she pulled him onto her lap, "nothing's wrong with your mom. Really. She's just going through some things. It's different but it's not bad."

His hand traced patterns on his knee while he looked down, "Daddy use to be her best friend."

"Yes, I think so," Lena said quietly, sending the weight in "use to".

"On Saturdays they'd have date night. Mom said because they needed to have grown-up time."

"Uh-huh."

"Sometimes they'd kiss and stuff."

Lena looked at him, waiting for the shoe to drop.

"Mommy goes out on Saturdays with you now."

"Yes."

"Do you guys kiss and stuff?"

Oh. Help. Lena closed her eyes, rapidly wishing she was not having this conversation. "What does your mommy say?" she asked instead.

"I haven't talked to her about it," he mumbled into his lap.

"I think you should talk to your mom. She's a really good listener and I think she'd want to talk to you about this kind of stuff."

He sighed, looking like he was struggling to find the right words. "You make my mommy really happy. She smiles a lot more, even though her friends don't come over anymore. Whenever she talks to you on the phone, her eyes get all smiley too. So I think…I think it's okay. Even if its-" He stopped.

"What's okay Brandon?" Lena said this last part very slowly.

He bit his lip, "one of Daddy's friends was over a couple of weeks ago and he called Mommy a dyke. He said it in a mean way. Daddy got mad at his friend and he got mad at me when I asked what it meant. He said it's a bad word and he said he didn't want to talk about it and not to tell mom either cause it would make her feel real bad." He picked nervously at his jeans, "I asked a big kid at school and he told me dykes are girls who kiss other girls." He squirmed a little, "and other stuff. Different from family kissing. Like married people kissing and stuff."

"Oh," said Lena. She felt a flare of frustration at Mike. He might have been trying to spare Stef's feelings, but it doing so he had made their son think she might be doing something wrong. She wished she could call Stef to the school, this was such an important discussion to have with the little boy but she knew she'd most likely be on patrol.

Brandon continued to look at her steadily, trying to articulate what he had been trying to figure out for awhile. "If Mommy's a dyke she likes to kiss other girls and if you and her go on date night…" he trailed off, looking at her expectantly.

"Brandon, I can see this is something you want to talk about and I really want to talk about it with you but we need for your mommy to be here too. Or it's something that you need to talk to your mommy about if I can't be there."

He looked so disappointed that for a moment, she thought he might cry. "But you always answer my questions. Always! Why's this so bad?"

Lena rubbed his back soothingly, beginning to rock him a little. "Brandon, it's not bad, I swear. It's just complicated, but complicated isn't bad. I know your mommy thinks it's a very important conversation and she needs to be here. She has too, buddy."

His lip thrust forward, "but Daddy says it'll hurt her feelings." A tear ran down his cheek.

"Your daddy made a little mistake," said Lena calmly. "He's having a hard time too right now, right? Even thought they aren't best friends right now, they still want to be friends and your dad wants to make sure that happens." She wasn't sure this would happen actually. Upending the lesbian norm, she believed that exes were trouble and had been more than happy to cut off ties with hers. Maybe Stef and Mike would be friends, they did have a kid that tied them together, but that certainly hadn't stopped some of the vicious infighting she'd seen as she tried to mediate families for school purposes.

Brandon turned his back on her for a moment, "I miss my Daddy," he said eventually, speaking to the tree.

At this seeming non sequitur, Lena tried to assure him, "I know. He misses you too and loves you. Very, very much."

"That's what Mommy says." He turned back and looked at her fully now. "He's never going to be married to my mommy again. Mommy says they'll be good friends and love me forever but they won't live in the same house again like they use too."

Lena wasn't sure what to say to him.

"Mommy always means what she says when she says it like that," said the little boy. "They won't ever." He closed his eyes briefly, opened them, and looked at her. "I don't want my mom to be alone."

She looked back at him, then held him closer to her. She took a deep breath, "I love your mom," she repeated in his ear, "and everything is going to be okay. Trust me buddy. I promise."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

She left Stef a light message when she returned from her picnic, not mentioning anything in particular except they'd had a good time and, oh, could they possibly hang out tonight? She'd even bring pizza and a movie.

Stef's response didn't come until two hours later, while Lena was in a meeting, of course, but since it was an unequivocal yes, Lena was relieved. This wasn't really the kind of situation that could wait.

She picked up Brandon from aftercare. After talking pizza for five minutes, Lena decided it would be better for her sanity to get two and deal with the leftovers. As they drove to the condo that Brandon and Stef shared, Lena could see that his thoughts were someplace else.

"Bud?" she asked presently.

Her turned his head. She could see the reflection in the front mirror, "yeah?"

"Let's talk to your mom tonight about what we talked about at lunch."

His eyes grew slightly round, "don't wanna," he pleaded.

"Brandon, remember what I said to you," she said, speaking gently as she eased into the parking spot near the condo.

He nodded.

She turned of the car, and turned her body so it faced the back seat, "do you trust me?"

This time his nod was emphatic.

"This is the right thing to do and everything will be okay," she repeated.

He unhooked the belt around his booster seat and crawled to the front seat. He leaned forward until their foreheads were touching. "Promise?"

"I promise."

"Then I believe it," he said softly.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Stef sat at the kitchen table, her body still rigid from the conversation with her son. She felt the air move as Lena came from behind her to hug her tightly. "I didn't know he was hearing all that…seeing all that," said Stef softly. "I just wanted to protect him."

"Of course you did honey," Lena said, holding her lover tighter, "you do. You are such an amazing mother. Seriously, if I can do half the job you do I will be happy."

Stef snorted wetly, trying to swallow the tears that kept brimming in her eyes and her voice, "I think you'll surpass me pretty quickly."

"Hey," Lena said, moving around so she could sit in Stef's lap, stare into her eyes, "don't make it sound like that. Don't you start thinking you did something wrong."

"My kid thinks he has to protect me, Lena. That's not his job. He's five. I can't-I won't be one of those parents." Stef wiped at her cheeks angrily, tears spilling over her cheeks without her permission.

"Oh sweetheart, have you ever thought that it's because you're such a great 'protector'. He sees you do a job every day where you keep people safe. He wants to be just like his Mommy." Lena kissed the side of Stef's head, then her cheek where her lips tasted the salty residue of her lover's distress.

Stef sighed, her head dropping back a little. Suddenly she chuckled, "he can't be a cop. Have you seen the kid try to kick a soccer ball? He tries to use both feet at the same time."

"Nice, Stef."

"Ah, c'mon. It's comforting. I wanted to be a cop because my dad was one and B has two parents that are cops. I don't want that for him. I want him to go to college, like I never did."

Lena brushed Stef's hair from her face, pressing their foreheads together, not letting her slip out of the conversation. "You handled his questions really well tonight. Did you see his face? He felt so much better."

Stef entwined their fingers together, "thank you for being here for it. I might've been able to do it alone…but I'm so glad I didn't have to."

"I'll always be here for you Stef."

"And I'll always be here for you."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

It was Mrs. Mac who had told Lena that every single kindergartner was dying to have lunch with her and that it would be wonderful if she would be able to do so. The woman was a thirty-year teaching veteran, someone Lena admired, and to whose advice she listened.

Principal Sanchez seemed slightly leery, "are you sure you can fit it into your schedule? We can't sacrifice administrative time for frivolous matters."

"It's not frivolous at all," said Lena, "if I have lunch with each of the kindergartners and all the new kids as they stay at Anchor Beach, I will have had at least one true connection with each of them. This can lead to less behavior problems and increased respect for staff."

Nodding, the older woman agreed.

It wasn't a complete surprise that Brandon heard about it, he seemed to have a talent lately for hearing things he wasn't meant to. He stood in the doorway later on, his face sporting multiple emotions, "you're going to have lunch with other kids." It wasn't a question.

"Yes I am. So I can get to know them." She read the disappointment in his face, the I-thought-I-was special look as much as he tried to fight it. "Don't you think that's good for them too?"

He nodded, sighing a little, then squared his shoulders, "maybe you could have lunch with Claire first. She'd been kinda sad."

Lena gestured for him to come closer and she pulled him into her lap, nuzzling his hair a little. She could smell the faintest whiff of Stef's perfume, the one she swore she didn't wear. She spoke carefully, distinctly, right into his ear, "you're still my favorite five-year-old on the planet."

He grinned at her.

She looked at him fondly. She'd said it to his mother. Could she take the next step? She closed her eyes, _what the hell_, "I love you bub," she whispered.

"I love you too Lena."

Then he went outside to play.


	3. Be My Heart Not Still

_This one is for Lifesizehysteria, who requested a story focused on Stef and Lena in the early dating years (the time of which there was NC-17 level petting but before sex) when they weren't quite as in sync as their usual behavior indicates. This one would actually take place within a month or so before the previous story. _

_I must also thank Lifesizehysteria because this prompt challenged me in an unexpected way. I am so use to writing Stef and Lena as a couple, a long-term couple whose synchronicity, despite occasional setbacks, is the bedrock of their relationship. However, the prompts call was for the awkwardness of some of their first times so I spent most of the story cringing along with them._

_Thanks to all of those people who have sent such lovely reviews. In the spirit of the series, please find and review another author's story in a positive way as well. Pass on the love._

Stef held one set of earrings up against her face, then tried another one. Nope, nope, nope. She didn't like either one of them. She tried another two sets. Even worse. She decided to give the earrings a rest and turned to her clothing instead. Well that skirt had way too many flowers. Flowers? Where the hell had she gotten that from anyway? Ugh. Oh and that blouse. She definitely didn't like _that_ blouse. Make-up, she'd settle on make-up. Make up was good. Make-up would be easy…right?

"Why are you putting all that stuff on Mommy?" asked Brandon as he observed her from her bed, holding a snack of peanut butter and bananas on toast. At any moment, Stef was sure it would plummet to the blanket (peanut butter side down) but despite the gravity-defying antics of her son, it had remained vertical.

Stef looked at her reflection in the mirror, "I just want to dress up so I look nice. I either wear the uniforms for work or jeans and a t-shirt when I'm at home. It's nice to change things up. You understand, right?" She deliberately didn't mention that it was because she was going on a date with Lena. The last time that had happened he had innocently let it slip to his father and Mike had mysteriously been unable to take Brandon the next weekend. She wasn't sure if it was resentment, deliberate sabotage, or just plain grief, but she didn't want to deal with that again. She didn't want her kid to be in the middle of it.

"No. I like when you look like my mommy," her son said decisively.

"Well, sometimes _I_ want to look different. I'm not just one thing buddy."

Brandon sighed deeply and shrugged his shoulders, "okay Mommy." Such existential crises were beyond his kindergarten repertoire.

Stef walked over and sat beside him on the bed, "I want you to be good for your Daddy this weekend," she said. "He's having a tough time lately."

"I know," said Brandon. "You don't have to worry Mommy. We have fun together. We'll watch movies and tomorrow we're going to go to the park. We'll probably do baseball. I'm gonna be Padres and he's gonna be Dodgers."

"That's my boy," Stef gave him a kiss. She hesitated a moment feeling badly about grilling her son, but needing to know he was safe. "Your dad's okay though? He doesn't act strange sometimes?" She put her hand on his leg as she asked, insisting on eye contact through this familial interaction.

"No. He's sad sometimes, like you," said Brandon. "But then he laughs and plays with me again. That's good, right?"

"Yeah," Stef trudged over to her closet, determined to find something to wear. She laid her clothing on the bed where her son was bouncing lightly, not enough that it would be considered a jump and he'd have to stop.

"I like that one Mommy," he said, reaching over to point at the cream-colored shirt with the blue piping around the collar.

Predictably, the last of his sandwich landed on her shirt. "Ooops sorry," he said, giving her a nervous smile.

She sighed as she went to pick out a new shirt, "you're lucky you're cute," she threw over her shoulder, as she entered her closet once again.

xoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Stef looked at the directions she had scribbled on the paper as she drove. Lena was the one who chose the restaurant this time. All she had given Stef was the name and a general sense of where it was. Stef _could_ have looked it up on the internet but she had a full-time job and a full-time kid and from the wisp of humor in Lena's voice she could tell that the other woman had made a new move in their good-natured game of dating one-upmanship. She'd let Lena have this. After parking her car, she was waiting in front of the restaurant for less than five minutes when she saw Lena walking towards her. "Hi," Stef said, letting her eyes travel over Lena's body. The other woman was wearing a dress that clung to her curves all the right ways. Stef lingered on her breasts for a minute, feeling a flame of embarrassment when Lena caught her doing so. "Uh, sorry," she said quickly. Then she tilted her head in thought, "well, not _really_ sorry," she admitted honestly.

Lena grinned at her, "I'll take it as a compliment. Overall, I'd say you're very good about looking at my face." She leaned forward to brush Stef's cheek in a quick kiss and whispered, "besides, when you're not looking I have a tendency to check out your backside." The smile Stef shot her was full of impishness but also that tinge of are-you-serious incredulity that made Lena feel protective and a little possessive.

"Is that so?" asked Stef, her voice dropping a little.

Lena felt her cheeks warm, even though she had started the whole thing. She gave Stef another smile instead and shrugged, leading her into the restaurant and giving her the perfect opportunity to check out _her_ backside, a lovely sight that Stef did indeed take the time to appreciate.

The restaurant was slightly crowded but the hum of voices were kept at conversational level and merely provided a white noise for more personal exchanges. The interior oozed with elegance from the tuxedo-clad waiters to the silky-white tablecloths to the actual crystal glasses. The chairs were undeniably comfortable and Stef felt herself sink into one as she sat down. The menu was written on a delicate piece of parchment that her son would have been making into paper airplanes. She squinted at the wispy gold font and frowned at Lena, "honey, this whole thing is in French."

Lena's heart did that little skip thing it always did when Stef plied her with these careless endearments in such a matter-of-fact manner. She supposed at some point in her life they might become commonplace, but for now she cherished each one. Gretchen had never been one for sweet nicknames. Sex? Yes. In-your-face kissing in front of as many people as possible? Yes. The woman fancied herself a bit of a rebel. Lena was proud of who she was, but she didn't like being used as a political platform. It was quite a change to go to Stef, who had an amazingly powerful personality but whose lesbianism was tinged with uncertainties and prevarications that she hadn't encountered, at least romantically since she was in high school. It was part of the dichotomy that attracted her to Stef. "I know," said Lena, adjusting her plate minutely. "I read a little French. I thought I could order for us."

"Wait-is this revenge for taking you to the Padres game and feeding you hotdogs and peanuts for dinner?" Stef asked rhetorically, recognizing that Lena had moved her queen and was angling for a checkmate.

"Never," responded Lena with a straight face. "And you forgot the pink and blue cotton candy your son insisted was dessert." She had loved the Padres game and took surreptitious pictures at every opportunity. They had mainly featured Stef and Brandon in mortal agony as call after call left their beloved Padres trailing behind. Her favorite was the one where they threw their hats down in disgust simultaneously.

"Uh-_huh_," Stef leaned back in her chair to look at Lena appreciatively, "touché, lady. I guess you've won this round."

Lena smiled and pointed at her in a _gotcha_ motion. In addition to the teenage head-over-heels type love she felt for Stef, the other woman brought out her playfulness like no one else ever had. They teased and joked with one another, usually ending up in a torrent of giggles.

Stef raised an eyebrow at her, "I guess you've got me at your mercy. What are you going to do with me now that you've won?"

A completely x-rated response to that innocent question flashed through Lena's mind and was uncharacteristically about to be blurted out at the same time as Stef registered what she had said. They both looked away for several seconds, red steadily creeping up Stef's neck. She cleared her throat, looking around frantically to change the subject. "So, uh, what should I get?"

Lena looked at the menu as if she were concentrating fiercely. For what felt like the millionth time, she was surprised at how quickly her body responded to Stef. It felt like she had no real control over it, which was unnerving but also a little thrilling. Clearing her throat she said, "there's a thinly sliced beef that I think you'd really love and some caramelized vegetables. That might be your best bet."

"Sure," Stef looked down at her menu, "and which one would that be?"

Lena reached her delicate, beautifully long fingers across the menu and tapped at a selection on Stef's menu, "that one," she suggested, her voice unintentionally just shy of sultry.

"Great, that's the one then," said Stef, pulling her menu away a little too fast as she suddenly gulped more air than she meant to.

Lena tried to pull her hand away, but knocked the water glass on the way over. "Damn," she said as the water crept across the white tablecloth to pool near the edge of the table.

"No worries," said Stef, reaching over at the same time as Lena as they both tried to mop up the water. She tried not to laugh. Lena's language was almost always impeccably polished and precise. If she was swearing she must be as flustered as Stef was. Paradoxically, that made her calm down a little.

Their carefully coiffed waiter came running over to take care of the problem, "_non non_," he said, "I will take care of it _mesdemoiselles_," he insisted.

The women looked at one another in identical consternation as the waiter efficiently cleaned up the table, only looking slightly put out at the additional labor. After they ordered the women looked at one another over the candlelight. Due to the abrupt waterfall at their table, they had briefly become the center of attention. This had made Stef keenly aware that they were the only same-sex couple in the entire restaurant. _Of course_, Stef groaned internally, _it's a __**date**__ restaurant_. With all the little pinks and blues merrily in a row.

As if sensing her discomfort, Lena cleared her throat. "How was your day today?"

Stef latched on to the lifeline eagerly, "not bad. More paperwork than I like but then, that's the way it usually is."

"Tell me about it," said Lena, folding her hands on top of one another at a neat angle to the plate. "The sheer amount of paperwork I have to go through probably endangers more forests than an entire army of Paul Bunyans."

Stef chuckled, "I would say I have dreams about a completely paperless office but then I think they'll just microchip us and get it over with."

"How 1984 of you," said Lena.

Stef brightened, "I read that book in high school, but since it was like…1984, I couldn't help but be a little disappointed."

"You wanted thought crime to be an actual thing?" Lena raised an eyebrow at her.

"No, of course not. It's just after I read it I realized how far they thought we would be by then. I mean where people thought we would be and where we actually are. In some ways we're more different than they'd ever thought we'd be and in other ways we're completely the same." Stef felt like she was tripping over her own tongue in trying to explain herself.

"Yeah," said Lena, sensing the change in tone.

"People thought we'd be using hover cars by now, transporters like on Star Trek, or having dinner with Martians or something. The idea of gay people getting married and having kids was a much, much more foreign idea than that." Stef's jocular tone faded. "Isn't that funny? I literally grew up at a time when we were landing on the moon and I could never even conceive of something like that. Hell, I don't think I even understood it was an actual lifestyle until my dad…until my dad…"she bogged down a little and stopped, looking at Lena mutely.

Lena reached across to hold her hand, "I know," she said quietly. Stef had told her the story. It was a raw wound that showed in her eyes sometimes and if Lena ever wanted to see Stef as a teenager, she saw it in these times, in the utter defenselessness of her face and the rawness of her emotions.

"Maybe I knew," Stef admitted. "I'm not sure. I don't know if I'll ever be sure now."

"I don't think your dad knew either," said Lena, "maybe that's why it scared him so much." She was less inclined to be so charitable with the man. His actions caused his daughter more pain then he probably even realized but she also recognized that Stef still loved him, despite all that, and she resolved not to be hateful knowing that would only hurt her girlfriend more.

Stef stroked Lena's hand absently, "I don't ever want to do that to B. I don't ever want to make him feel-" She looked at Lena quickly, then cleared her throat. She needed to change the conversation. Now. Being around this woman made her feel like her thoughts and emotions were constantly flying in multiple directions. "Anyway. Speaking of Brandon. Did you still want to go to the zoo next weekend? He's been really looking forward to it."

"Definitely," said Lena, letting Stef escape the conversation with only a little regret. This wasn't really the place for that kind of tête-à-tête anyway. Stef might begin to open up but then she'd realize how exposed she was and back off. It would make it harder for her to open up about the same thing later. "When's the last time he went?"

"I think the last time we took him he was pretty little," said Stef. "Probably doesn't remember much." She smoothed the tablecloth with her hands to give them something to do. An eternal fidgeter was she.

"It's not really that far away," said Lena curiously, "why haven't you taken him more?"

"I don't know," said Stef. "Maybe because I wanted him to be old enough to appreciate it. I mean, yeah, he could recognize the animals when he was just a little guy, but now he understands more of why it's an amazing thing to see penguins and elephants here."

"So practical," Lena said with a teasing grin, slipping her foot out of her shoe to give Stef's knee a friendly nudge.

"Yeah, I guess." Stef shrugged and looked at Lena wryly, "Probably not a great recommendation for a romantic partner, huh?"

"I happen to think you're very romantic," Lena told her. "Remember where you took me for our sixth date?"

"The Three Sisters Waterfall?" questioned Stef. "I didn't know hiking was considered the height of romanticism."

"Hiking _can_ be romantic," said Lena, "but it wasn't necessarily the place." She fiddled with the place settings, "it's what you said."

"What I-" Stef stopped, "oh yeah," she said, suddenly finding her plate interesting as well, "it was just the truth."

"It was the way you said it," said Lena.

Stef became very aware that Lena had yet to remove her foot from her knee. She could feel the warmth and it seemed to pulse outward, spreading to her entire body. "Yeah."

The women looked at one another, their stare gaining more intensity as the seconds passed. The moment was suddenly broken by the waiter bringing their dinner. "_Mesdemoiselles_, your dinner," he said.

"Looks wonderful," said Stef, shaking her head slightly. Because wow, seriously? The whole lost-in-her-eyes thing was supposed to be something you heard in songs, not actually experienced.

"It really does," agreed Lena, giving herself her own internal shake. "Do you want to try a bite of mine?"

"Definitely," said Stef. "And you need to try mine. I don't have any other French food to compare it to so you'll have to tell me what you think." Forcefully, she managed to refrain from making jokes about snails or French fries.

The dinner passed swiftly, both women managing to fulfill their individual side of various discussions quite nicely. There was still an undercurrent of strong emotion between them and every time their dialogue paused too long, or they inadvertently touched one another, that flash was in the middle of them again. That particular flicker always seemed to be between them now, the one that made Lena know that this was different from any other relationship she had been through and the same one that made Stef understand that her life was forever changed by this woman.

When they finished their meal and dallied over their coffee, Stef skillfully managed to get the waiter to give her the check when she slipped her card into his waistcoat pocket as he came to collect their coffee cups.

"Stef," Lena chastised, as the waiter brought back the receipt to be signed, "I chose the restaurant."

"Uh-huh," Stef agreed cheerfully, "and I paid for the restaurant."

"You tried to pay for most of the baseball game too," Lena pointed out as they rose from their chairs and headed to the coatroom to collect their light winter coats.

"I did indeed," said Stef, sunnily agreeable.

"Well you need to stop paying for things," Lena said, sounding slightly aggrieved. She and Stef probably made close to the same amount of money, she was only an assistant vice principal and Stef had been on the force for at least ten years, but still, she had a little boy to support.

"Probably," agreed Stef blithely.

Lena stopped before they could collect their coats, narrowing her eyes as she looked at the other women. "Are you…messing with me right now?"

"Maybe a little bit," Stef admitted as she handed over her ticket to the coatroom clerk.

Lena harrumphed a little, an adorable sound that Stef hoped she would hear again in the near future. "You're incorrigible." She turned in her ticket as she felt Stef's eyes remain on her back.

"Or maybe I just looked up the zoo tickets you just happened to have and noticed that you added the Early Morning with the Pandas option," Stef informed her as she put on her jacket. "And honey, those are not cheap."

Lena was extremely appreciative that her complexion hid some of the blush she could feel climbing up her cheeks. "Um, they were given to me," she fibbed, slipping her jacket over her shoulders.

"You're a terrible liar," Stef informed her, eyes dancing a little.

"It's just…Brandon was so excited about the pandas, especially since he gave his little report about them last month," Lena said, fidgeting a little with the rings on her fingers as she looked at her hands.

"So you're preemptively spoiling my son," Stef said, giving her a look that would have meant trouble for nearly anybody else on the planet.

Lena gave Stef her best smile, the one that had caused her father to give in, her mother to give up, and her freshman girlfriend to move past the kissing stage. "Maybe."

Stef shook he head, "_I'm_ incorrigible." She held the door open for Lena, letting the other woman pass in front of her.

"Okay, okay," Lena admitted as they made their way down the sidewalk, "you caught me. I'll-um, ask next time, okay?"

Stef made a small sound that sounded like a cough but was actually a strangled laugh.

Lena stopped, pulling her girlfriend to a stop beside her, "you aren't really upset are you?" She couldn't help but feel a slight anxiety nagging at her.

Stef's chuckle burst from her, "no. Oh love, of course not. What you did was very sweet. And I'm so happy you and Brandon get along so well." She was more than glad about that. She couldn't believe that any of this could work if they didn't. Their obvious adoration of each other made an already complicated situation so much easier. She went into her tough-cop voice, "just don't think you can get away with trying to pay for everything."

"Not everything," Lena protested, beginning to walk forward again. She slipped her hand into Stef's, grateful when the other woman took it easily, interlacing their fingers through one another until they were palm to palm. Lena loved holding hands with Stef. The other woman's hand was incredibly strong, yet so gentle at the same time, just like Stef. This simple connection made her feel more present, more cherished, and more safe than she had ever felt with any other woman.

"Do you want to walk down to the beach?" asked Stef. She wasn't ready to let the night end yet and she could tell that Lena felt the same.

"Sure," said Lena.

They knew if they traveled along the boardwalk, they could watch the sun as it went down. The two women walked down the street, the breeze blowing the rest of the day's warmth away. Thankful they had their lightweight jackets, they moved closer together. It would only grow cooler by the water. Stef stroked her thumb along Lena's hand, still delighting at the feel of soft skin against her own. Just as Lena was about to say something, a couple, an older man and woman with graying hair, walked towards them frowning a little at their clasped hands. The woman whispered to the man as they passed and the man nodded with a look of repugnance, glaring at them hatefully. Stef jerked to a stop and pulled her hand from Lena's.

Lena stopped at looked at her, hearing the retreating steps of the couple as they continued down the sidewalk. Stef took a shaky breath and covered her face with one hand, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Lena said, carefully not touching her. "I understand."

Stef brought her hand down, "no," she said fiercely. "I don't want you to think-I'm _not_ embarrassed. I just-"

This time Lena took her hand again, then reached for the other one, "it's okay," she said sincerely. "Really."

Stef looked at her; shame and anger and a fierce, fierce determination shining in her eyes. She brought Lena's hand to her lips, pressing it briefly with a kiss. "I love you," she said in a passionate declaration, "I'm-I'm not afraid of that."

Lena smiled and leaned forward to brush her lips in a quick kiss, "I know." She squeezed her hands. "I know you."

They walked nearly a mile, passing various configurations of people, Stef's hand becoming sweaty at times. She'd release Lena's hand briefly, rub it on her slacks, then take her hand again. Her grip was uncompromising, but once and awhile it would spasm involuntarily. When that happened, Lena would use her thumb to rub Stef's palm again. Feeling Stef relax, she'd reward her with a loving smile. When they got to the trail that looped it's way on the edge of the beach, they followed it in until they found an area that was semi-secluded. There were other people there, other couples, but they seemed intent on their own business. The two of them walked closer to the breaking waves until they reached a log, bleached by the sun and worn by the endless, rushing water. Lena moved to take a seat on the wood, but Stef pulled her by her hand to a gentle stop and then released it to take off her coat. She laid it on the ground, then sat, leaning against the log and making room for Lena beside her. Lena took off her shoes, placing them beside the coat then sat next to Stef, folding her legs carefully as she did so. Stef put an arm around her and they watched as the sun continued it's slow decent into the ocean. Lena sighed and laid her head on Stef's shoulder, "aren't you going to get cold?"

"No," said Stef, "I've got you to keep me warm."

It was one of those simple declarations that Stef said off-handedly, not analyzing it, just saying her own truth. There was no artifice to Stef and Lena loved that about her. She brushed her lips over Stef's cheek. It felt private here. There were still many people on the beach, but at least the were sheltered somewhat from the prying eyes. Prying eyes that still had the tendency to make Stef uncomfortable. They watched the sun go down without talking much beyond "isn't that gorgeous" and, "oh, look at the colors over there." Neither of them really felt the need to talk. During the time it took for the sun to set, Stef pulled Lena closer. Lena let her hand drift down Stef's shapely leg, disturbing the line of the slacks slightly with her increasing pressure. Stef's hands danced lightly across Lena's back, then nestled for a scant few seconds in the hollow of her neck, only to land more seriously on her thigh. Stef wasn't quite ready for such public exhibitions yet, so she kept her touches just outside the areas where Lena was hoping she would touch her.

Lena sighed a little, closing her eyes and tilting her head back. She saw a faint twinkle in the sky and looked around carefully. When she saw nothing else, she nudged Stef, "first star," she said, pointing at the sky.

Stef looked up and then looked over at her, "you do that too?"

Lena shrugged, slightly self-conscious, "habit I guess. I don't do it all the time, but whenever the sky gets to gloaming and I'm outside, I always look up."

"Do you make a wish?" Stef tucked her chin on Lena's head.

"No," said Lena after a moment. "Seeing it is enough."

Stef chuckled a little, "your life's that perfect?"

"It's not that…I guess it's just that I'd never trust something as flimsy as a wish for the things that are really important." She brought Stef's hand to her lips, "I trust this."

"Me too," whispered Stef.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

When Stef shivered for the fifth time, Lena would not hear any more excuses and insisted they depart from their sandy haven. They walked to their cars but while trying to separate from another kiss long enough to say goodbye, both decided that they didn't want the night to end.

"Come to my house," said Lena. "We can watch some movies, drink some wine," she let her hand travel to one of the buttons on Stef's buttons unconsciously rather than in deliberate provocation.

"Sure," Stef said after swallowing. She didn't even have to think of her answer, she already knew where she wanted to be.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

After they reached Lena's house they poured some drinks and began a movie, but it was quickly evident that neither of them were really interested because as the previews and credits rolled by, they were already too busy kissing and stroking to watch the show. Actually, the choice of the movie would have been the first clue since Lena was in such a hurry she reached in and grabbed a disc without looking at it and slipped it into the player. Brandon would have highly approved of the choice and Stef would later discover that Lena it was one of Lena's favorites. As it was, by the time tiny Scrat raced across the screen in search of his elusive acorn, Lena and Stef were focused on each other. As Stef ran her hands over Lena's arms she marveled again at the smoothness. There was muscle there as well, not as defined as her own but clearly present. Her own hands felt rough to her, but by the darkening of Lena's eyes and the faint tremble of her body, she could tell that her touch was very, very welcome. Lena's couch was slightly narrow, but comfortable, so they did all right for a little while, even though there were times that Stef felt like she might fall off. They were beginning to discover all sorts of interesting anatomical facts about one another when Lena finally managed to divest Stef of her shirt and bra. Stef shivered a little in the sudden chill of the apartment, feeling more vulnerable than if she had been completely naked.

"It's okay," whispered Lena, the flickering lights of the television providing the only source of illumination. "You're so beautiful. You're so-" she reached up and traced Stef's cheekbones, then let her fingers trail to the hollow of her neck and down her chest. When Stef removed Lena's dress, she groaned a little when she found her girlfriend was clad in a veritable see-through slip that was more alluring then seeing her naked would have been. There were bits that were covered, but only just, and the peek-a-boo aspect of it made Stef feel a little crazy with lust. By the rapidity of Lena's heartbeat, she was feeling the same. Their limbs tangled briefly when Stef tried to maneuver Lena more closely. Then Lena accidentally scratched Stef with one of her rings. When they reached for one another at the same time, their hands collided together sharply and causing a stinging pain to their owners. "Fuck," swore Stef with great feeling.

"I agree," said Lena gravely before giggling.

"Maybe we should try and coordinate," said Stef, frowning. "What if I lean to the left and you lean to the right."

"Then we'd just be leaning away from each other," said Lena logically. "Simple geometry."

"I can't believe I'm with a woman who thinks geometry is simple," said Stef. She looked at Lena, smiling a little, "Or that I'm with a woman at all," she said, rolling her eyes a little. "I mean," Stef stumbled a little and Lena put her hand on her arm. "I don't mean it to sound wrong," said Stef quietly. "It's just…so different than anything I thought I'd have."

"I know," said Lena quietly.

"Sometimes I think about us and I can't believe it's my life," Stef continued. "It feels unreal."

Lena continued to quietly stroke her arm, refusing to speak until she truly understood what Stef was trying to tell her.

"It's amazing," said Stef. "I'm so happy. I can't believe it. I'm mean, I'm scared…really scared sometimes but I'm happy. When I'm with you I feel more myself than I've ever felt in my entire life. I've felt so out of place. So wrong in so many ways. I don't feel that way with you." She looked at Lena, tracing her lips with one finger.

"I'm glad," said Lena. "And it's okay for you to be scared. That doesn't make you a bad person and it doesn't scare me," she hesitated, "Just don't try to run away from me, okay? Don't try to hide. I don't want you to leave me."

Stef swallowed, "I don't ever want to leave you," she said.

They moved together, pressing their lips together. Stef had never been with someone where the kissing felt as intimate as it did with Lena. She could have spent hours kissing her and still want more.

Lena moved in a little more aggressively. She didn't want to intimidate Stef, but she also knew, when it came down to it, she had more moves. Well, more moves in this kind of situation. She refused to entertain thoughts about what moves Stef would have picked up with Mike. Besides Stef smelled really, really good and her lips tasted a little like apricots in the summer and it felt like a really, really long time since they'd kissed the last time and-she let her hand reach up to cup Stef's breast, stroking it as lightly as she could with her thumb. She watched as Stef tilted her head back and closed her eyes. She made her strokes firmer, pressing her body lengthwise against Stef's and feeling the other woman's body move gently, unconsciously.

Stef felt the desire moving not lazily now, but all consuming, leaving her uncomfortably aroused. She could feel her hips moving, grinding helplessly against Lena in a motion destined to bring sweet release. She knew she was getting to the tipping point, where she would beg Lena to touch her, to fuck her. She took in a shaky breath. She wasn't ready. She _wasn't_ ready. She wanted it, every cell in her body was telling her she wanted it, but she wasn't ready. She took a shaky breath, "Lena, please, please I need to slow down, I need to-"

Lena was breathing hard as well, her motions stilling, but she didn't pull away from Stef. "What is it hon? What's wrong?"

"I need-I need," Stef stumbled, trying to breath into lungs that felt unbearably small and to still her body which felt like live wires were snapping across the surface of her skin.

"What do you need?" asked Lena quietly, biting her lip to stop herself from grinding against Stef's leg. Her body was so primed that it hurt.

"I can't-I can't do this yet. I'm sorry Lena. I want to but I can't do this yet. Can you-can you?" Stef gestured to their bodies.

Lena moved slowly her reluctance unfeigned.

"I need some time. I wasn't-I'm not ready. I mean, part of me is ready, I love you so much Lena but I also feel-feel," Stef swallowed, feeling tears fill her eyes. She wanted to feel that perfection she'd felt mere seconds ago, that feeling that pulled her gently but unequivocally into an abyss that both scared and exhilarated her. Why couldn't she do what she _wanted_ to do? The tears spilled over now, and she tried to turn her head away from Lena. "Oh G-d," she said, pressing her fingers to her eyes in utter humiliation and frustration.

She felt Lena's hand land gently on her arm and she jerked away, not out of fear this time but out of anger. She was ruining this. She was ruining_ them_.

Lena's hand returned - insistently, stubbornly. "Stef," Lena said, "It's fine. I'm sorry. I was going to fast. I knew that but I just wanted to touch you so badly. I'm sorry sweetheart, so sorry."

"You're sorry?" Stef choked, turning incredulously. "Why? You're not the one who is…fucked up!"

"Stef, no, no. You aren't. You've told me you needed to take things slower. You were clear about that. You were _always_ clear about that. _I'm_ sorry."

Stef looked at her, her tears making her seem younger. Lena's heart ached a little with love and longing. Oh she was in _so_ much trouble. She loved this woman. She loved this woman _hard_ and in doing so was giving her the power to break her heart.

"I want you too," said Stef quietly. "I wanted-everything you were offering."

Lena held both her hands out. Stef rubbed her hands across her face roughly then reached out in return and their hands met again. Lena pulled her closer. They stood for a few moments in this loose embrace. Finally Stef took a deep breath. "Oh my G-d this is complicated. Maybe we should just get drunk and find the nearest U-Haul." As soon as she heard what she said she closed her eyes. For all that was holy, when was she going to remember to think before she spoke? She blamed her mother. It had to be an inherited thing, right? Most of the times it had served her well but it had its downsides. Like now. "I don't even know what to say," she said finally, opening her eyes and looking at Lena, tone apologetic.

To her surprise, Lena grinned a little, "_you_ don't know what to say? Has that ever actually happened to you in your entire life?"

Stef could feel her body loosening a little, relaxing, "I always got the, 'is very chatty and needs to remember to raise her hand' comments on my report cards," she admitted.

"Very easy to believe," Lena assured her.

They chuckled and Stef let her forehead press gently against Lena's. "I'm really not crazy," she told her. "Promise."

"Oh you're not crazy," Lena said. "I've dated crazy." She frowned a little, "I've _slept_ with crazy." She shook her head, "not recommended."

"She cook your rabbit?" said Stef sympathetically.

"Funny," grumbled Lena. "You haven't seen crazy until you've met the lesbian with her therapist on speed dial."

Stef chuckled, looking at her, then stopped. "I hope you're just kidding," she said, giving this idea some genuine consideration.

Lena smiled, "Yeah," then almost too quietly to be heard, "mostly."

They managed to pile back on the couch. "This is exhausting. Am I going to have emotional outbursts throughout our entire relationship?" Stef asked, not entirely joking.

Lena patted her leg, "actually, we lesbians are famous for our emoting. Welcome to the club, babe."

A smile flitted across Stef's face and they lay together in a semi-contented silence for a few minutes. "So, what do we do now?" asked Stef.

"You want to actually watch the movie?" suggested Lena.

"What are we-?" Stef looked at the television, "are we actually watching Ice Age?"

"Well, not that one," said Lena, frowning at the screen in consternation. "I don't have a ton a movies but I have a pretty good variety.

"You said once there are some lesbian movies I should see," said Stef. "Do you want to watch them tonight?"

"Not tonight. I want you to actually enjoy being a lesbian tonight," said Lena leaving the couch to rummage the shelves.

Stef looked a little startled, "uh, those will stop me from enjoying it? Isn't that kind of the opposite of what they should want to do?"

"Being a lesbian in most movies is like being Black in horror movies," Lena informed her. "You get some one-liners, a moment of hope, then die horribly."

"Are you still joking with me?" asked Stef.

Lena shook her head, holding up her choices, "I wish. If there really was a gay agenda in Hollywood, that's the first thing we would fix." She piled some movies in her arms and took them back to the couch. "So these are some of my favorites."

Stef scanned the choices quickly; drama, drama, historical, historical drama, historical mystery drama, and… Terminator 2? "Terminator 2 is one of your favorite movies?" she asked suspiciously.

"It has a dystopian aspect that manages both to caution us about over-industrialization and reliance of technology but allow hope for the future," Lena said.

"That's why you like it?"

"Yes it is," said Lena, managing to sound simultaneously proud and defiant.

Stef looked at her, squinted, "Why would-" Her face brightened suddenly in recognition, "Linda Hamilton?"

Lena ducked her head and smiled, "have you _seen_ her arms? She worked out for months to get those!"

Stef chuckled.

With more synchronization they'd managed than when they had tried to have sex, they made popcorn, grabbed a bottle of wine, and settled on the couch among the collection of pillows. "Oh, I like this new one," said Stef, showing Lena a chocolate covered one with a fringe.

"It's not new," Lena lied.

"Lena, I observe things for a living. That's over half of my job. I can tell when you've got something new in the apartment.

"Uh, it's really _not_ new. I just pulled it out of the bedroom because I thought it would look better on the couch," Lena said. Stef had to be lying. Either that or she was overconfident. There was no way she could keep track of everything in her apartment. Besides, Stef had only ever had a passing glance of her bedroom. Unfortunately.

Stef looked at her, shaking her head. "I'm sure there's a twelve step program for a pillow addiction," she volunteered with a sweet smile, "they have one for everything else."

"Oh shut up," Lena finally admitted in exasperation, "yes, it's a new pillow. It's gorgeous and fluffy and looks great on my couch. Can we watch the movie now?"

Stef chuckled, "I love it when you get all flustered. It's the most adorable thing I've ever seen."

"You're going to talk your way out of sitting on the couch with me," Lena threatened without any heat.

Stef put her arm around her, feeling more than a sense of peace when Lena rested her head on her chest. "I'll be good," she told her. "I'll stop teasing. I promise."

Lena closed her eyes, feeling the strong, warm sensation of Stef's heartbeat as she closed her eyes. _Don't be too "good"_, she thought. _Because I don't want to wait much longer and I know you don't either._ She let her hand drift to Stef's chest, right next to her heart as if she were actually holding her heart, _but I will because I'm totally in love with you._

Stef kissed her head as if she could actually hear her and whispered, "me too," once more.


	4. Parenting is a Blood Sport

_This one is for SC Junction who asked for a story where Lena and Stef figuring out how to be parents early in their relationship, after the twins came along. It's very much a thinky-thoughts type of piece, so you're forewarned. I enjoyed the discussion Stef and Lena had in __Mother Nature__, but I do think some things might have been addressed at an earlier age, specifically the part about Stef being intimidating because if she's intimidating to a bunch of sassy teenagers she must've been fairly scary to a newly-arrived Mariana and Jesús. My thanks, as always, to the awesome reviewers who have left such thoughtful comments._

Within several weeks of the twins arrival, Lena had decided that Stef was good with Jesús in a way she never would be. She would wrestle with him, run around with him, and always seemed to sense just when he needed to escape. The only mar to their relationship was his impulsiveness. While she recognized this was a difficult area for him, she also had a hard time believing, when he had been told the same thing literally twenty times in a row, that he would "forget". It seemed too convenient.

"How can he not know that throwing food is not okay?" she said in irritation to Lena as she scrubbed Mariana and Brandon down from their impromptu egg shower one morning.

"Ow, Mommy!" shrieked Brandon and she tried to get the egg out of his hair, "you're puuuuulling it!"

Stef eased up a little, then let him go as she pulled Mariana towards her. The little girl cringed in preparation but said nothing, her eyes wide.

"Where's Jesús?" asked Lena, keeping her voice calm as she smiled reassuringly at Mariana and patted Brandon's head.

"Time-out," Stef said, "on the couch." Despite her aggrieved tone, her motions had gentled as she wiped Mariana's upper shoulders and back free of egg residue. She sighed when she saw the little girl's hair was matted with yolk. "I think we're going to need to wash your hair in the sink," she said. "Yours too," she said to her son, noticing that it was standing on end.

"They need to change their clothes too," said Lena, looking at the clock then looking at Brandon warningly when he opened his mouth to whine. The twin's school started about fifteen minutes before Anchor Beach and they would be late if they weren't out the door in ten minutes.

Stef mouthed a "dammit" as she hefted Mariana into her arms, "Brandon, go upstairs and change, now. I'll get your hair when you come down." Brandon ran upstairs without further discussion, recognizing the tone.

"I'll get Brandon's hair," said Lena. She looked towards the living room. "I can wash Mariana's too. Why don't you go talk to Jesús?"

"And say what, Lena?" asked Stef, ignoring her and lifting Mariana towards the sink. It was perhaps a sign of the times that they kept a bottle of Johnson's Baby Shampoo in the cupboard below the sink these days. "He's been told a hundred times not to play around with his food. I go upstairs for less than thirty seconds and find the other two covered in eggs. Eggs! We weren't even having eggs for breakfast!"

"Jesús didn't mean too," whimpered Mariana.

Adjusting the water temperature to make sure it was comfortably warm, Stef began wetting down the little girl's hair with the sprayer. "I know he didn't mean it," she said speaking mostly to Lena. "He never means it, but these constant "accidents" are not okay. If he had been obeying me in the first place and eating his damn breakfast, none of this would have happened."

Lena gave her a glare for the language and Stef modified herself begrudgingly, "his _darn_ breakfast I mean."

She finished scrubbing Mariana's hair free of egg and used a dishtowel to dry it. "Go change your clothes and bring down a comb so I can get your hair." Her voice was kind, but Mariana still seemed upset as she ran upstairs.

"Seriously Lena, this house is in constant chaos right now. Jesús needs to get it though his head that this is completely unacceptable. I mean if Brandon had done this-" she trailed off warningly and the child in question did an abrupt about-face to walk out of the kitchen after his brief trip upstairs. "Brandon," said Stef, "I'm not mad at you baby, get back here."

Lena grabbed Brandon's shoulders before he could make it to his mom. "Let's talk about this more tonight, okay? Just go talk to Jesús and get the twins to school. I'll take care of Brandon."

The little boy sighed as he realized he wasn't going to get out of having his hair washed after all.

When Stef walked into the living room, Jesús was laying upside-down on the couch, his head resting on the floor. He scrambled up as soon as he saw her. "Hi Stef," he said eagerly.

"Jesús, were you thinking about what you did?"

"Uh-huh," his head bobbed frantically.

"And?" Stef demanded.

"I'm sorry," he said with practiced ease, "I won't do it again."

Stef sat next to the little boy, running her hands through her hair and mussing the normally tight bun she wore. "But it has happened again," she told him seriously, keeping her voice even. "In fact, I think this is the fourth time this has happened."

"Sorry," he said again, dropping his head for a millisecond then looking back up at her with wide eyes, "I just wanted to show them something!"

"You know bud," Stef began slowly, "there comes a time when saying _sorry_ isn't enough."

The little boy's normally wiggly body froze for a moment and he looked at her seriously, "are you going to punish me?" His voice betrayed his hesitancy. He and Mariana had been with the family for nearly a month and neither Lena, nor Stef had hurt them yet. He didn't worry so much about himself. He was a boy and he was tough, but he did worry about his sister.

"What do you think I should do?" asked Stef. She knew her son hated that particular question because he knew exactly how she'd respond and what an appropriate consequence would be. To her surprise she saw Jesús's brow furrow in concentration as he thought seriously.

"I know." He brightened a little as he thought of a possible solution that might please her. "You could lock me in a closet for awhile. That way I can't get out and do bad stuff no more."

Stef stared at him in incredulous horror for a moment, "Jesús why would you think-" she paused a moment. "I would _never_ lock you in a closet. Not ever. Neither would Lena."

Jesús looked a little confused by her vehement reaction. "It's okay," he reassured her, "it's not so bad. It's dark but Mariana pushes some toys under for me to play with." He sobered suddenly. "Mariana doesn't like it though. She cries."

"Who did that?" Stef said, her voice had dropped into a low register and Jesús felt a sudden frisson of fear pass through him.

"Jorge," he mumbled. "I was running around and he said I's gonna knock over the powders and stuff."

"Who's Jorge?" Stef asked, her voice still stiffly controlled.

Shrugging, still not looking at her, Jesús mumbled again, "_mami's_ boyfriend."

Stef took a deep breath, "Jesús you have to understand that wasn't okay. You should not have been locked in a closet."

"It's just kinda like a time-out though, right?" Jesús asked honestly. He had experienced this on several occasions both at this house and at his other foster homes.

"No!" Stef insisted. "When you're in time-out, you can leave."

"But I'm not s'posed to leave," said Jesús matter-of-factly. "'Cause that's bad and not following the rules."

Stef looked at him in perplexion. Did he really think being locked in a closet was the same as sitting on the couch? "We are not locking you in a closet," she said firmly, wanting to make sure he understood that.

He shrugged a little, "It's not so bad," he reiterated. "I liked Jorge better than Spike. Spike was a…a _cabrón_! He hitted me on the face all the time. One time he hit me so hard my nose bleeded. _Mami_ and Mariana cried _para siempre_."

Stef closed her eyes for a moment, then looked at him, her voice level even though she felt near to crying. "Nobody will ever do that to you again," she said, making the promise rashly but with deadly intent. "Not ever again."

"Honey," Lena rushed in holding Mariana's hand. The little girl's hair had been neatly brushed and braided. Brandon trailed behind them, also ready to go. "The twins are late. You need to write them a note and get going…now."

Stef looked at her watch and stifled another curse. "Okay, okay. Mariana, go get your stuff. Jesús…" she looked at the little boy, "I still want to talk to you, but I'm not mad, okay?"

"Okay," said Jesús agreeably.

"Do you want to-can I have a hug?" Stef asked him.

Jesús was still relatively reticent about doling out physical affection, but he was open to doing so when asked. "Sure!" he gave her a big bear hug.

Stef hugged him tightly, but briefly, knowing this was his preference and kissed his head. "Good boy. Go get your backpack and lunch please." She walked over to her partner and son, picking him up and cuddling him closely, smelling the scent of his freshly washed hair. She squeezed him tightly then lowered him gently to the ground, "go get your stuff baby, I want to talk to Mama." As soon as their son disappeared, she leaned into her lover, dropping her head on the other woman's shoulder.

Lena simply stroked her hair gently and peppered her head with sweet kisses.

"We need to talk about Jesús," said Stef quietly. "We need to figure something out."

"Okay," said Lena. "How about tonight? I'll make something simple for dinner and we can set the kids up with a movie or something."

Refusing to lose contact with her love, Stef merely nodded.

"Stef?" a hesitant little voice broke them apart. "It is time to go?"

Reluctantly, the women broke apart and Stef turned and smiled at Mariana, "it is sweetheart. Do you have everything? Backpack and lunch?"

"Yes," said Mariana, watching them with dark eyes. "I am all ready. I will be good…very good at school. So will Jesús."

"I know that sweetheart," said Stef although in Jesús's case he would most likely still come home with a note. "You both are very good."

Mariana looked at her hesitantly; clearly not sure this was true, but nodded obediently anyway. "We will be very good," she said again.

The two women looked at one another once again, communicating more then they could in spoken words and Lena nodded decidedly. "Have a good day sweetheart."

"You too love."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

To Stef's supreme displeasure, she did not get home at the expected hour, due to a rather serious accident requiring her time and then her ability to fill out paperwork. By the time she was home, dinner had been eaten and the children were bathed and in pajamas.

"Mommy!" shouted Brandon as he jumped up from his position by Lena to run over to her and jump into her arms.

"Oof," Stef grunted as solid six-year-old weight hit her midsection. She covered his face in kisses. "How are you doing? Did you have a good day? Were you a good boy today?"

He nodded eagerly, proudly. "Mrs. McKennon picked me to do the math calendar today and I did it all right. She said I did a good job and when we had library I found a new book all about a boy and his robots. It's really funny!"

Stef nodded during this dissertation, walking over to the couch where her lover and other children sat.

Mariana was sitting in Lena's lap so Lena merely lifted the little girl with her as she stood and kissed Stef slowly, lingeringly. "Hey sweetheart," she said.

"Hey," said Stef returning the kiss and adding another. Then she grinned at Mariana and tickled her stomach a moment. "How was your day today?"

"I was good," said Mariana quickly. "It was a good day. Jesús had a good day too. His teacher said he was very, very good." Her fingers twisted together nervously.

Stef smiled and patted the little girl's back. Then she grabbed Jesús and mock wrestled him to the couch, Brandon now clinging to her back like a monkey, "and how was your day?" she asked him.

"Great!" he said predictably.

Stef chuckled. Jesús either had a spotty memory or an naturally optimistic nature because he always said every day was great, even the ones where he had spent most of his time cleaning up his mistakes or apologizing for something, or going to the "thinking place". "I'm sure it was," she said, raising an eyebrow at Lena who shrugged and used her hand to indicate _so-so_. Well, that wasn't so bad.

"Dinner's in the fridge," said Lena. "Why don't you eat, then you can put these guys to bed?" she said, trying to get the boys calmed down after the excitement of seeing Stef.

"Okay," Stef agreed quickly. Jesús's nighttime routine required at least an hour of progressively more quiet activities until he was calm enough to fall asleep. A disruption of this could cause several more hours of trials and she was already feeling slightly regretful about her exuberant greeting. She heard Lena's voice as she began reading again and watched as the boys settled back, bookending her on either side as Mariana regained her place in Lena's lap. She ate her dinner quickly and finished well in time to listen to the end of the chapter. She put Mariana and Brandon to bed then sat with Jesús, rubbing his back gently. The massage seemed to lure Jesús into a quieter place and they were delighted with the fact that he no longer seemed to be getting up every few hours during the night and early morning. She spent the longest time with Jesús, knowing that it was important to make sure he was entirely conked out before leaving him, but she also make sure she talked quietly with her son and Mariana, watching them individually as their eyelids drooped and they succumbed to the Sandman's ephemeral powers. She plodded downstairs, stretching a little and found Lena on the couch. She was dressed in her pajamas that had a scooped neckline and all Stef wanted to do was sit and admire her for a million hours so she started by just standing near the edge of the couch.

Without looking up from her book Lena asked, "what are you doing?"

"Just looking," said Stef whimsically, stroking the edge of her lover's foot, covered with a thin, pink sock.

Lena finally dropped her book and looked at her, "well stop looking and get over here so we can start cuddling woman."

Stef laughed then dropped next to her lover, making the couch cushions bounce.

"Ah, that's better," said Lena with great satisfaction. She lay her head on Stef's chest while Stef kissed her head fondly. "How was your day?"

"Not too bad except for the end," said Stef making a face. "We were practically pressing the accelerator, on our way home when that accident happened."

"Everyone alright?" Lena asked, fiddling with the button on Stef's old baseball shirt that served as a pajama top for tonight.

"Yeah. I mean, they're at the hospital but they'll be okay."

"That's good," said Lena softly.

"How were the kids?" Stef asked, covering Lena's hands briefly then opening them again to let her explore.

"They were okay," she could practically hear the shrug in Lena's voice. "Brandon was fine, Mariana's teacher said she only talks when specifically asked a question in class and even then she whispers, and Jesús learned that glitter is meant to only decorate paper…or other art projects."

"Oh G-d what did he glitter?"

"The playground ball, his snack, another boy's sweatshirt…I'm sure there's more that they'll discover at a later time."

Stef giggled unexpectedly in direct contrast to her words, "that's not funny. Glitter's a pain in the ass."

"I think his teacher was a little weary of him today. The glitter incident happened after he had toppled a science project, used permanent marker to finish his math on the whiteboard, tried to scale the outside fence, and plugged the sink."

"Oh boy," Stef sighed, shaking her head, "that was not a red-letter day."

"I know. He only earned a few stamps on his chart," said Lena.

"How can he earn anything with that kind of behavior?" asked Stef, suddenly irritated. "They're going to kick him out. They can do that you know, it is a private school…that the state is only subsidizing part of," she added pointedly.

"I know honey," Lena took a breath. "Mrs. Martin wanted to know if we'd thought any further about medication."

"I think a little discipline is warranted before we pump the kid full of drugs," said Stef. "I mean, he's five years old. I don't want to shove a whole bunch of crap into that tiny, little body."

"I'm not any more fond of that idea," said Lena carefully, "but I don't think we should completely dismiss it either. Jesús's impulsiveness effects everything he does and makes it difficult for him to fit in with his peers."

Stef's anger left her perceptibly as she leaned back into her partner. "He told me I should lock him in a closet for the egg thing this morning," she said quietly. "And I could see it on his face…he thought it was a really good idea. He was proud of himself for coming up with a solution he'd thought I'd approve of."

"Oh hon," said Lena. She pulled Stef to her in a hug. "I'm sorry." She loved how incredibly loving and empathetic her lover was. Even though Stef was exposed daily to child abuse, she hadn't become hardened to it. Stef was a marshmallow covered by another layer of marshmallow with only a thin crusty outside that was about as thick as an egg shell. It made her a good cop and a wonderful mother but it did make her vulnerable at times.

Stef shook her head, "it kills me a little, you know? To know that they went through that. I wish we could have found them earlier…saved them from that."

Lena pushed her forehead against Stef's own, capturing her lips in a kiss that was full of understanding and love, "me too."

Repositioning, Lena seated herself comfortably in Stef's lap. Stef let her head rest on her lover's breasts as they sat together. "You're right," said Stef eventually.

"About what?"

"We need to figure something out. Something that works for them."

"What do you think we should try?" asked Lena, the teacher in her already having come up with a plan but unwilling to steamroll over her beloved.

"I don't want Jesús to be scared of us," said Stef thinking aloud, "and obviously I don't want to-lock him in a closet, but I do think he should be a little scared of the consequences. I mean," she frowned, "I want them to mean more to him. Sitting him in time-out doesn't really do anything. It isn't stopping the behavior. Remember when you told me that if the consequence wasn't stopping the behavior then it probably wasn't effective?"

"Yeah," said Lena.

"When I was little, I knew just what I could get away with, and I'll admit it, I pushed it right to the edge. But I knew what my parents would do if I crossed that line so I didn't."

A chuckle slipped out from Lena, inadvertent but obvious.

Stef poked her in a ticklish point, "most of the time," she amended herself. "I mean, that's what we do right? Even as adults. People speed all the time because they're taking the chance that they won't get caught. They usually only stop once they've been hit by some heavy tickets."

"You don't think the consequences are high enough for Jesús right now," Lena translated, letting her fingers play absently in Stef's hair.

"Yeah. I just don't know what they should be. I mean, like I said…I don't want him to be scared of us or something."

Lena hummed a little in response, not a negation or affirmation.

"What are you thinking?" Stef asked, splaying her fingers against Lena's back and rubbing the tension there.

Lena took a breath, wondering if she was ready for this conversation. "Well, I was rereading this one-"

There was a sudden thump from upstairs and Stef sighed as several thumps accompanied it. "That's Jesús. He must not have actually been asleep." She kissed Lena quickly, maneuvering her so she was on the couch. "I'll get him. You've had them all afternoon."

"Thank you sweetheart," Lena said to her lover's retreating back. She felt both regretful and slightly relieved that the conversation was postponed. They did need to have the conversation. She just hoped she said the right thing.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Stef hummed happily as she drove home. The rest of the week had been good. Minor missteps here and there, but that was to be expected in a family with three kids. It felt like the family was finally starting to gel.

She pulled into the parking lot at Anchor Beach. Lena had several meetings out of the building this evening and instead of having the kids at aftercare the whole time, Stef had been able to wrangle an early release. She was looking forward to spending some time with the kids. Maybe she could even take them to the park. She found herself whistling as she turned down the hall. She frowned as she heard a furor of voices and she began walking a little more quickly.

Debbie Aames, one of the supervisors of the aftercare program, looked towards her as they door opened, her face full of distress. "Oh, uh Officer Foster, I'm so glad you're here!"

"Call me Stef," she reminded. "What's going on?" Suddenly a small form ran towards Stef and grabbed her around the legs. "Mariana?" Stef asked in confusion.

Mariana's upturned face was covered with tears. "Stef," she sobbed, "Jesús-"

"What?" Stef looked at her foster daughter, then at Debbie. "What's going on? Is something wrong with Jesús?" She rubbed Mariana's back automatically, trying to soothe the child who was sobbing almost completely soundlessly but with her whole body.

"Well, you see- Jesús was having a difficult afternoon and then I had him sitting in our thinking chair and next thing I knew…he was gone!" Debbie began speaking faster, "no one saw him leave or anything and we've been looking for him. We've called over the intercom and still nothing. We were just about to call you or Lena but-"

"How long has he been missing?" asked Stef briskly beginning to scan the room quickly for possible hiding places.

"Uh, we noticed about twenty minutes ago. I don't think it could have been any more than ten minutes before that…" the young woman's voice trailed off, moving along with Stef as the other woman began a brisk walk around the room.

"Stef," Mariana's voice was urgent. "Jesús is good. He _was_ good today. He tried hard. Please, please, don't be mad. Please-"

"I'm not mad Mariana," Stef said, aware her voice was brusque, "but we need to find your brother. Now." She tried to lower the little girl to the ground, but Mariana's arms wrapped around her neck, nearly throttling her. "Okay, I guess we're looking together," Stef mumbled. It became quickly apparent that Jesús was not anywhere in the afterschool space. "Where's Brandon?" she asked Debbie, who was still dogging her footsteps.

"He's with Nathan. He wanted to help look around the school for Jesús," Debbie responded quickly.

Stef nodded. "Okay, I'm going to use the intercom in the office. Hopefully when he hears my voice he'll know it's time to stop playing around." She looked at Debbie, "call me on my cell as soon as you see him." She shifted Mariana to her right hip and made her way to the office. "Hi Emily" she said to the office administrator when she saw the familiar woman. "Mind if I use the intercom for a moment to find my kid?"

"Of course," said Mrs. Chen.

Stef took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment. She kept her voice calm as she spoke into the intercom phone. "Jesús Foster, this is Stef. You need to go back to the aftercare classroom, right now. Everyone is very worried. If for some reason you can't get to the classroom, I want you to make a lot of noise so we can hear you." She looked at Mariana who was quiet now, looking at her with liquid eyes. She repeated her message again, then shifted Mariana to her other hip as she placed the phone back into the cradle.

Stef took a different route from her first one as she headed towards the aftercare classroom, pausing every few footsteps to call for Jesús. She heard a faint noise and cocked her head towards it. There it was again. She turned down the opposite hall, her steps quickening, "Jesús?" she called again. There was a muffled sound, then a rattling.

"Jesús!" Mariana piped off, her tiny voice ringing bell-like in the otherwise silent area.

This time the response was clear. They followed the sound to the kitchen then to a cupboard. "Jesús?" Stef asked.

"Here!" it was coming from a cupboard that was trying desperately to be opened. A small, brown hand poked out, waving wildly.

Stef moved the salad bar, which had been shoved against the cupboard and was preventing his escape.

As soon as it was cleared, Jesús rolled out. "Whew!" he said, "I thought I was gonna have to sleep there tonight!"

Mariana ran over to give him a tight hug, rebuking him in a torrent of Spanish that Stef only just got the gist. She gave Jesús a quick hug, then lifted him up to stare him in the eyes. "What were you thinking?" she asked him, voice still controlled.

He shrugged, dropping his eyes nervously, "sorry. I'm sorry Stef. Really. I didn't mean to. It was an accident."

"Which part?" asked Stef, her voice raising a little, "running away or whatever caused this in the first place?"

Mariana tugged at her uniform, "_lo siento_. Sorry Stef. He's sorry. He's really sorry. He-"

There was a bright pain behind her temples and Stef closed her eyes against it. "C'mon," she said, voice gruff, "we'll talk about this at home."

Trading trepidatious looks, the twins followed her.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Constant murmurs from the backseat accompanied by louder responses such as "nuh-uh" and "uh-huh" caused Stef's headache to worsen as she drove back to the house. She fished in the center console for some kind of pain reliever only to come up empty. Naturally. After a particularly vehement "uh-_huh_" she turned to look at the trio with narrowed eyes, "you need to be quiet. Now," she said quietly.

Trading looks, the children subsided.

By the time they got home, Stef had decided two things: one, she needed to find some kind of aspirin before her head exploded. Then she needed to separate her children so she could talk to them about what happened, starting with Jesús. She sent the kids to their rooms then wandered to her bathroom in search of pain relief. It was harder then she thought it would be since Lena seemed to be playing hide-n-seek with the medicine cabinet. She rubbed her temples as she stared at her reflection, gearing herself up for the next few minutes.

When she entered Jesús's room, he jumped up from where he had been playing with a Lego set, back onto his bed where he was supposed to be. "Hi Stef," he said, smiling weakly.

Stef sat on the bed next to him. "I need you to tell me what happened today," she said.

Jesús rubbed his hands across his pants. "I don't remember Stef. So much happened today. Most of the day was good."

"It doesn't sound like it. Why did you run away?"

The little boy shrugged, avoiding her eyes. "I just thought it would be better to go away for a little bit. Just a little bit."

"Well it's not," said Stef firmly, ducking a little to hold eye contact. "Running away does not solve problems, it just makes them worse."  
>"I'm sorry."<p>

"I get that Jesús, but I need to know what caused the problems in the first place I-" Hearing raised voices, Stef rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Stay here," she told him.

She went into the hallway and found the other two practically nose-to-nose. This was unheard of for Mariana and Stef stood still for a moment.

"You were scaring him," said Mariana loudly.

"I was not!" Brandon insisted, "I was just telling him stuff."

"You were being mean!"

"I was not!" Brandon stomped his foot as Mariana pushed a tiny finger into his chest.

"Hey, hey. Hey," said Stef breaking in between them. "What's with all the yelling?"

"Brandon was mean to Jesús," Mariana supplied quickly.

"No I wasn't. You're a liar!" said Brandon.

"Hey-no name calling Brandon. Mariana, calm down and tell me what you mean."

Mariana folded her arms and glared dangerously. "Brandon scared Jesús…that's why he ran away."

"Brandon?" Stef asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"No I didn't," Brandon said.

"You said he should run away," said Mariana, twisting around Stef a little.

"No. I. Didn't!" said Brandon.

Stef held her hands out, "stop. Brandon, what did you say to Jesús?"

"I said he was gonna get in big, big trouble with you and that you were going to be super mad at him and he better watch out," said Brandon, tilting his head to look at her.

"Why would you say that to him?" said Stef in frustration.

"But you are mad at him. When I got in big trouble at school you got reealllly mad at me and yelled forever."

"I didn't yell at you forever."

"It felt like forever."

Stef sighed and looked at Mariana, "so that scared him and he ran away?"

"He wanted to stay away until you were _calmate_," Mariana explained.

"See, I didn't tell him to run away. I didn't do anything," said Brandon, aiming his scorn at Mariana.

"Yes you did. You shouldn't have said that," said Mariana, clenching her fists tightly.

"I was _warning_ him," Brandon said. "That's a good thing. Duh."

"Enough," said Stef, straightening from her crouched position. "I want both of you to go to your rooms. I'm going to finish talking to Jesús, then talk to you."

Mariana went quickly but Brandon frowned at her, "why are you mad at me? I didn't do nothing."

"Anything. And I know you think that, but you need to watch what you say to them."

"I didn't say anything bad," Brandon insisted. "You shouldn't be mad at me. All I said was-"

"I know what you said Brandon," her tone was sounding increasingly terse. "You need to remember that-" she paused when she heard a crashing sound. "Augh," she rubbed her forehead. "Just go to your room. I'll talk to you in a minute."

"It's not fair. You aren't listening," Brandon said, face growing red.

"_You_ aren't listening. I told you to go to your room – right now."

"You-"Brandon flung out his arms in frustration, knocking one of the picture frames to the ground and hearing a crunch. He looked at his mother with wide eyes.

Stef glared at him, "Brandon, unless you want this to lead to a very unpleasant situation, you need to go to your room. Now." Brandon looked at her evaluatingly, clearly deciding if the situation warranted tears or a higher degree of aplomb. Stef returned his stare as he slumped unhappily to his room.

Stef shook her head and headed to Jesús's room to see what was happening there. She found three collapsed shelves and a nervous little boy. "Uh-hi Stef. I was just trying to clean my room. I wanted to make you happy."

"Why did the shelves fall?"

"I was trying to put stuff on the top and I went up and up then all of a sudden everything went down and down."

Stef found that a supreme weariness had replaced her irritation, "that's because you were climbing on the shelves. Furniture is not meant to be climbed on. Remember when we talked about that?"

"Oops."

Stef closed her eyes and wondered when Lena would be home.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

By the time Lena got home, things were more or less back to normal…or at least the new normal. Jesús was outside, running energetically in the backyard while Stef cooked dinner.

"Looks delicious," said Lena, giving her lover a kiss and a gentle nuzzle to the back of her neck.

Stef gave her a slightly tight-lipped smile, "thanks. How was your day?"

"Pretty good. How about yours?"

Stef shrugged and rolled her eyes as she began pounding energetically at a trio of chicken breasts, "I'll tell you later. Parmesan chicken okay with you tonight? I'm going to cream some cauliflower and add a salad too, I think."

"That sounds great," Lena Let her hands slide down her lover's hips, then patted her butt possessively.

Finally Stef gave in and grinned at her, "yeah?"

Lena gave her a shrug and an adorable grin, "I can't help that you're gorgeous."

Stef looked at her hands, covered with raw chicken juice and gave her a pathetic look. Lena sauntered over and gave her another kiss, touching and exploring freely to make up for the fact that her partner couldn't. When she saw Stef give her a larger smile and that her face was more relaxed, Lena smiled in triumph. "Where are the other kids?" she asked, her eyes cutting towards Jesús who had not paused in his frantic circle of the yard.

Stef sighed and rolled her eyes again. "Mariana's…playing or something last I checked. Brandon's probably still pouting."

"Why?"

"He wasn't listening to me and I sent him to his room," said Stef, turning back to the chicken.

Lena nipped at a tomato and leaned on the counter, "want me to talk to him, or is he still in trouble?"

"No, I told him he could leave his room. He's just playing it up for sympathy."

Lena nodded and headed upstairs. She peered into Mariana's room, finding it more spotless then usual but empty of the child herself. She heard small noises coming from Jesús's room, so she headed in that direction.

"Lena!" Mariana looked up from the toys she was organizing, then walked over to the woman to hug her legs shyly. "Hi Lena!"

"Hi sweetheart," said Lena, patting the little girl's hair. "What are you doing in your brother's room?"

"Cleaning," said Mariana. "I get everything nice. Just like my room. It's good, _si_?"

"It's very nice," agreed Lena, looking around. Mariana had done some impressive work. Neither of the children had come with a lot of things but had managed to pick up a surprising amount of stuff in the last month, Jesús especially. He was inclined to a dozen or so "collections" of items that would run riotously across his bedroom. In fact, the room might be a little too clean. "Mariana," said Lena firmly, "did you get rid of your brother's things?"

Mariana's chin notched a shade stubbornly and she shook her head, "no. Only trash."

"Will Jesús think what you threw away was trash?" she asked.

This time Mariana ducked her head a little and shrugged. Then she peeked at Lena through her dark bangs, "it's gone now," she said matter-of-factly.

"Mariana, I appreciate you cleaning up, but you need to respect your brother's belongings, do you understand me?"  
>"He won't care," pleaded Mariana.<p>

"Mariana," Lena kept her voice firm.

The girl sighed a little, "_si_, okay," she said. "But it is nice now, right? Very clean. You are glad?"

"It's very nice and clean," Lena assured her. "So is your room."

Mariana rocked back with a smile on her face, satisfied, "Stef will like it too?"

"Yes, Stef will like it very much," Lena said, stroking the shiny black head. "Why did you clean so much today?"

Gnawing on her thumb, Mariana looked at her, "I'm just good. Jesús is good too. He just made _un error_. He is a good boy," she said quickly. Then she scowled, "Brandon was bad. He scared Jesús."

Looking concerned, Lena knelt in front of her, "how did Brandon scare Jesús? What did he say?"

"He said Stef would be very mad at Jesús. Very mad. So Jesús hid until she wouldn't be mad no more."

Ah, the events of the day were beginning to shape up in Lena's mind. She took the little girl's hands in her own, "Mariana, do you think Brandon meant to scare Jesús? Was he laughing at him or making fun of him?"

Mariana hesitated, wanting to make sure the blame from her bother's misadventures only landed lightly on him. "The kids at the other homes say mean things to us," she said. "They scare us."

"But did Brandon do it on purpose?" Lena asked, pretty sure of the answer.

The girl curled a section of hair around one finger, then sighed. "Maybe not," she admitted.

"Okay. I will talk to Brandon, alright? To make sure he doesn't scare you like that again, even if it was an accident."

"Okay."

"Why don't you go downstairs and tell Stef about your room. I'm sure that will make her very happy."

That brilliant smile appeared on the little girl's face again. "She will be proud of me?" she asked.

"Very."

Mariana practically skipped out of the room.

Lena tapped lightly on Brandon's door. He sat up on his bed as if he'd been waiting for her. "Mommy isn't listening to me," he said immediately.

Lena hid a smile, "hello Mama, how was your day?"

His head dropped. "Hi Mama. Did you have a good day today?"

"It was good, thank you. How was yours?" She sat on the side of his bed.

The little boy crawled over to her. "It was _terrible_. Jesús got it so much trouble at school but Mommy wasn't hardly mad at him, she was mad at me." His lower lip poked out, trying to garner some sympathy.

"Why was Mommy mad at you?"

He shrugged, "I dunno. She just was. She wouldn't listen to me when I tried to tell her stuff."

"Were you trying to tell her something in a nice way or were you using a angry or whiny tone?" Lena asked, patting his leg knowingly.

His finger traced the bedspread. "Not a nice way," he admitted. "But she wasn't listening to me. And she lets Jesús do a whole bunch of stuff and he doesn't get in trouble. It's not fair." His voice grew quavery on the last part.

Lena rubbed his back for a moment. "Brandon, remember that talk we had last year? About how fair isn't always equal?"

"Yeah," he muttered, darting a quick glance at her.

"That's the same with the twins. If everything was fair, they would have lived in a nice house like ours with a mommy who treated them like they were the most precious people in the universe, just like you."

Brandon looked down again, "but-". He hadn't minded sharing his house or toys but this was different. He didn't like it when his mom was upset at him. Her approval meant everything.

"We treat Mariana and Jesús differently because that's fair for them. That's what they need right now to be successful." Lena tilted his chin so she could look at him. "Understand?"

"Their mommy wasn't so good," he said.

"Their mommy should have taken better care of them. I think she tried, but she should have done more. Mariana and Jesús," she hesitated and shook her head. "They weren't as lucky as you," she repeated quietly.

Brandon nodded, thinking carefully about what she said. "Mama?"

"Yes?"

"I want to go see Mommy now please."

"She'd like that."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"All I wanted to do today was take them to the park," said Stef, staring moodily at the wine as it inched further down her glass.

"What was that sweetheart?" asked Lena, rubbing her lover's foot comfortingly.

Stef cleared her throat. "We need to figure something out because at this rate I'm going to pack you and my toys and run away from home," said Stef.

"Well it's a good thing you aren't leaving me alone with these miscreants," said Lena, tickling her foot.

"What're we going to do? I honestly thought I was going to go out of my mind when Jesús kept answering my questions by saying, 'I don't know' and 'I'm not sure'. Oh and my personal favorite…'oops'."

"I know. It's really frustrating, isn't it? Especially when we're trying to be patient," said Lena, her hands refusing to give up their soothing massage.

"Well we need to do something. For our own sanity if nothing else."

Lena kneaded her lover's foot in silence. Finally she spoke. "Stef, I want to ask you something, but I'm trying to think of a way to do it without being…confrontational or sounding judgmental."

Stef, alerted by her lover's tone pulled her feet away and sat up, grabbing Lena's hands to hold them within her own. "What is it love?"

"You know that I think you're a wonderful parent," Lena said, beginning to tiptoe across the ice, "and I think you've done a great job with Brandon."

"I don't know if you'd say that after today," Stef sighed, "but thank you. And yes, I do know that."

"But just because…one way of parenting has worked for one kid, doesn't mean it will work or work the same for others."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," Lena took a breath, "we have three children now…three very different children and we need to figure out how to parent them."

Stef ran a finger under her nose as she tried to gather her thoughts. "Look, I know what you mean about them being different, but I don't think that means we…_parent_ them differently."

"But we already do," said Lena. "I mean, partially because DCHS requires us to respond to the twins in a certain way, and partially because our….expectations of them are different."

Stef nodded slowly, "okay, yeah, that's true. But don't you think that will change once the kids get use to us…get used to living here?"

"Things _will_ change, but I think we'll change too. We'll want to change our expectations for them as they get older and so our rules will change too. Some things we thought were important might not seem important. Or ways that we react sometimes won't be the way we react other times."

Stef leaned forward on her knees, "I uh, I feel like we're having two conversations here honey. What are you trying to say to me?"

Lena's face squinched together, "Okay. Yes. Look we…we've only been together for a year."

"Yes," said Stef feeling a sudden gut-level panic.

Lena seemed to sense this and gave her hands an extra squeeze, "a wonderful year."

"Okay, so-"

"I've been a mom for that amount of time too."

"You're a great mom," said Stef, feeling a little bewildered. "Brandon adores you and the twins do too."

"Thank you," said Lena quietly, "but being a parent, unlike being a partner isn't something I'm familiar with. I've let you take the lead…in a lot of things-"

"Wait a second," Stef sat a little straighter, "are you saying you've been unhappy about something and haven't told me? Because I'm always willing to listen to what you-"

"No," Lena shook her head emphatically. "That's not it. I-like I said, you've done a good job with Brandon…and you've been raising him since he was born. I let you take the lead because before he was our son he was your son, and I figured in a lot of situations…in most situations, you'd know best."

Stef opened her mouth "I-"

"You haven't made me feel that way," Lena added. "It's me. But now that we have three kids, three _different_ kids," she emphasized again. "I think we need to decide about the ways we can best meet their needs." She looked at Stef a little worriedly, hoping her lover understood what she was trying to say.

Stef stared at her hands a moment. "Okay," she said softly. "What, specifically, are you thinking to meet their needs?"

Lena chewed on her lower lip, "in Jesús's case, I think we need to focus less on punishment and more on…controlling his environment."

"What does that mean?"

"We need to set him up for success. Charts, reminders, everything we can do to make sure he makes good choices."

"What about when he doesn't?"

"We deal with it on a case by case basis. Then we use that for better set up in the future."

"That sounds more like he's training us instead of us training him," said Stef.

Lena laughed, "maybe a little. But we can't punish him over and over for something he really has very little control over."

"I understand what you're saying…intellectually I mean, but it feels like-it feels like we're letting him get away with something." Stef tucked her arms in close to her body in thought.

"I can understand how you'd feel that way," said Lena, letting her hand draw idle patterns on the back of the couch, "but we really aren't. We're modifying his behavior to reduce his impulsiveness. In the end, we'll get what we want which is less behavior issues at home and at school."

Stef nodded, "okay. Yeah, we can try it. I mean, I'm not against it. I just don't know that it will work."

"Okay. All I'm asking is to try it," said Lena. "We can see if it makes a difference."

"What about the other kids?"

"What?"

"You mentioned our _three_ different kids very specifically. What else do you want to say to me?"

In some ways, Stef could be scarily observant. "Okay, well, for Mariana I just think she needs lots of reassurances. She understands the boundaries well enough because she wants very badly to please us."

"Yeah, I got that," said Stef dryly.

"Yeah?" Lena didn't mean to inject so much surprise in her voice but it obviously showed because Stef gave her a look.

"Yes."

Lena licked her lips, a little nervous about this next part. "Did you also know that she finds you a little-just a tiny bit intimidating?"

Stef swung her head quickly in her direction, "What?"

"I mean you're a very strong woman and sometimes you say things in a very…forceful way. I don't think she's used to that level of intensity not coming from someone who is…not as kind as you are. I think it confuses her."

Stef translated this quickly, "she's scared of me?" She sounded hurt and Lena watched as her shoulders sagged.

"No," said Lena, squeezing her lover's foot tightly and reaching for her hand again. "She's just been through a lot and I think that anything she perceives as being negative can be scary to her."

"I'm negative?"

Lena was deciding that her foot enjoyed permanent residence in her mouth and was trying to think of a way to extricate herself from this conversation when she saw Stef shake her head.

"No. I know what you're saying. Like when I yelled at Brandon today. She flinched. He was just getting that stubborn look and I-I needed him to listen to me." Stef sighed as she ran a hand through her hair. "Maybe it shouldn't, but it kind of feels like you're asking me to be something I'm not. To do something…I don't know will work."

"You said you'd try," said Lena, trying to keep the hurt out of her tone.

"I will," said Stef. "But…I just don't know that we need to change things that are working."

"But they _aren't_ working," said Lena, sitting up and pushing herself away a little. "Not for Jesús anyway and not for Mariana."

"I already said I'd try," Stef's clenched her jaw, also moving away slightly. "What do you want from me?"

"I guess I want you to trust me," said Lena, deflating a little. "Like I trust you. Like I have trusted you."

"I do," Stef insisted. "Honey, I do. I promise. I-"

"I could show you all the books-all the articles. I have them," said Lena. "I've read them. This is what has worked for many kids. Believe me I-"

"I believe you," said Stef, still working her jaw a little stiffly. "I guess it just…kind of feels like you're questioning things I've done as a parent."

Lena let her head drop onto the back of the couch. "Stef I'm not. Truly. That's why I was trying to be so careful about what I said. I-I," she sputtered for a moment torn between frustration at her lover and at herself. She took a breath, "All I'm saying is that we need to have a bigger toolbox. That's all."

They looked at one another, the silence charged. A grin finally danced across Stef's face. "Did you just make an analogy with the dreaded and never to be repeated toolbox?"

"Shut up," grumbled Lena, crossing her arms in an adolescent fashion while a smile quirked across her lips.

"Honey, I haven't actually mentioned the super-awesome repair you made to our then functioning washing machine when we moved in."

Lena gave her a look.

"Oops." Stef grinned. "Personally I think it's impressive. I mean, the even the repair guy couldn't figure out what you did to it. He mentioned something about it being his biggest challenge yet?" Stef reached under Lena's shirt and let her fingers creep up the bare skin of her lover's ribcage, tickling them ever-so-lightly.

Lena tried to move out of the way. "You said you wouldn't mention it again," she said, giving her a scowl.

"I said I wouldn't mention it for awhile, it's been a year," said Stef. "I can't quite buy your theory that my toolbox was jinxed." She chuckled a little, then pulled Lena into her arms and nuzzled her ear for a moment. "I'm sorry," she said quietly, "I didn't mean to sound defensive. Friends again?"

Lena turned a bit so her lips met Stef's neck and she pressed her lips there, tasting the saltiness of her skin. "I'm sorry too. I really was trying to be diplomatic."

"You were," Stef sighed. "I guess it just touched a nerve."

Lena let her hand trace over the neckline of Stef's shirt, "so can we try it?"

"Yeah. Yeah of course. You're right. More kids means a bigger toolbox. It makes sense."

Lena nodded, sighing happily when Stef lowered them to a reclining position and she cuddled closer to her, her body fitting against her lover's like they were a pair of nesting dolls. "I'm so glad I have you," Lena finally said after several moments of silence.

"Me too. There's no one on earth I'd rather raise this bunch of monkeys with," Stef said, kissing her soundly.

"Stef?"

"Yeah?"

"We can pack up our toys and run away when they're eighteen, right?"

Stef chuckled, "deal."


End file.
